Essay #1

-- By AndreaMetz - 10 Mar 2017

Lisa

In the mornings, my mother’s room smelled like Calvin Klein perfume, lotion, and hairspray. The scents swirled heavily in the air as five (seven, nine…) year-old me watched her get ready for work at the Allstate office where she sold insurance. Her skirt suit hung on the handle of the closet with matching heels on the floor underneath as she put on her makeup, lipstick last, and spritzed herself with perfume. She had teased bangs that she would then fix into place with the hairspray, shielding her eyes with one hand. I loved that smell. It made me feel instinctually safe.

The refuge of my mother’s bedroom on a weekday morning is a memory. As many mother daughter relationships do, ours got increasingly difficult as I got older, and today our interactions are often tense. I accuse her of self-interestedness and blindness and she (in so many words) accuses me of elitism while she brags to her friends about the fact that I go to Columbia in the same breath.

Born in 1965 in a small town called McConnellsburg? (population 1,061) in Fulton County, Pennsylvania, my mom was the second youngest of five siblings. She headed off to Penn State Main Campus on an Air Force ROTC scholarship at seventeen, but got pregnant in her second year with my brother, then again with my sister just nine months later, and never graduated. Ronald Regan was President of the United States. He won reelection in 1984 by 512 Electoral College votes.

Where do I stand?

Unlike some of my peers here at Columbia and around the country, I cannot dismiss all Trump voters in one broad sweep no matter how much I would like to. My mother voted for Trump. 84.2% of Fulton County did too. In fact, my mother has voted Republican in every election since 1984, Fulton County has voted Republican in every election since 1964, and Trump won Fulton County by a larger margin than any other county in Pennsylvania. Such as it is, I carry my love for my mother and my home alongside the heavy weights of disappointment and shame.

I tried to convince her not to vote for Trump. And then I did again. I tried everything I could think of. I tried to be aggressive, I tried to be kind, I tried to use humor, I tried to appeal to her sensitivities as a mother, a grandmother, a woman, and pretty much anything else I could think of. I cried, I yelled, I ignored her texts, I texted too much. Now, after it is all said and done, questions remain. Where did I go wrong, and how can I be a persuasive advocate if I could not convince my own mother that voting for Trump was the wrong thing to do? I do not have satisfying answers to these questions, but asking them is helping me see themes that will be important to me in my career.

Truth

During this election, we witnessed an assault on the truth. Fact and fiction were seemingly indistinguishable when fake news articles were read, believed, and shared by millions of people. After the election, many articles came out about how Facebook’s algorithm kept people isolated from what was happening in separate political spheres because their newsfeeds were self-reinforcing repetitions of their likeminded friends’ and families’ opinions. While my own newsfeed was mottled with pro-Trump fake news headlines, I didn’t take them seriously enough at the time, thinking the outrageousness of the claims would undercut their persuasive value. I was wrong. Fake news had a significant impact on the outcome of the 2016 election.

In my career, I want to protect the truth. Whether that means investigating corruption, defending the First Amendment, giving abuse victims a voice, or something else entirely I do not know, but I know I want to remain committed to facts and to intellectualism in a world where they are under attack.

Understanding

No one act or thought is defining, and though a single act can tell you a great deal, people are nuanced in ways that one act cannot encompass. Throughout my legal career and my life more broadly, I want to approach people with understanding and compassion. Viewing my colleagues, clients, and adversaries through this lens will help me to not forget that today’s motivations have roots in personal histories and that people are different on different days. This basic understanding will serve me well in a profession that centers around human contact and conflict.

Perseverance (Working Toward a Sea Change)

I haven’t given up on my mom - I will keep trying to change her mind. I would not waste my time if I did not think it was possible, but I know it is possible because it has happened before. At fifteen I began dating a woman and my mom was anything but supportive. Five years later, on a hike with my mom and the woman I was dating at the time, I watched them joke with one another and was struck by how accepting she had become. I was proud of her for choosing to change her intolerant views about my queerness, and I was proud of myself for being the catalyst for that change. Our relationship suffered during my high school years, but when her mind changed it was a sea change for our relationship, and during college that relationship was the best it has ever been.

Similarly, I cannot accept that her mind will not change about the Republican’s increasingly dangerous views. The hate and fear I see in their words and actions do not align with the nurturing side of her that I know well. Perseverance is required of law students and lawyers no matter their work. I will use that perseverance to continue to diligently try to change her views. It may take years, it may not happen at all, but I have to keep trying.

Words: 995

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