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| | “The revolution will not go better with Coke. The revolution will not fight the germs that may cause bad breath.” | |
< < | As the child of two immigrants from Central Africa, I was taught to believe that assimilation was the key to success. Do not get me wrong, I in no way condemn my parents for wanting me to be successful (The children of African immigrants are one of the highest achieving subgroups in America, it “works!”). Yes, we’re closing the achievement gap but conformity does not breed creativity and without creativity there is no ownership, there is no revolution. Without revolution, there is no pursuit of happiness. The revolution does not go better with respectability politics, with climbing the corporate ladder, with securing a position wherein diversity are institutions where African-Americans constitute less than 3% of associates. | > > | As the child of two immigrants from Central Africa, I was taught to believe that assimilation was the key to success. Do not get me wrong, I in no way condemn my parents for wanting me to be successful (The children of African immigrants are one of the highest achieving subgroups in America, it “works!”). Yes, we’re closing the achievement gap but conformity does not breed creativity. Without creativity there is no ownership, there is no revolution. Without revolution, there is no pursuit of happiness. The revolution does not go better with respectability politics, with climbing the corporate ladder, with securing a position wherein diversity means less than 3%.. | |
“The revolution will put you in the driver’s seat” – Gil Scott-Heron | |
< < | I think about this point the most. Is it all an illusion? I could take an active role, ask questions, demand to be educated properly and figure out a life of lawyering that is good for me outside the scope of the conventional system. But I would still be operating within the confines of a system that was not created for me to succeed. Is the pursuit of happiness a legitimate possibility in a society that was built on the backs of slaves? | > > | This semester has been a whirlwind. I've found myself lingering on this idea of being my own driver and the conductor of my legal education and career. It's easy to feel defeated and to view striving for non-conformity as an illusion. As a woman, and then adding on another layer, as a woman of color, I'm always going to be confronted with obstacles. Losing sight of the destination is incredibly easy when those obstacles appear to be the same no matter which path I take. I used to feel that taking an active role in my education, asking questions, demanding to be educated properly, figuring out a life of lawyering that is good for me outside the scope of the conventional system was burdensome. "But I would still be operating within the confines of a system that was not created for me to succeed!," I would scream. Cognitive dissonance is powerful. It was easier for me to fabricate an image in my mind wherein choosing the path laid out for me by Columbia Law was obviously the better choice given that "I wouldn't be happy anyway." I was actively reducing this dissonance, this inconsistency between my presence at this school and my beliefs about how/where I should be dedicating my time, by blaming society and the elusiveness of the pursuit of happiness. 35 pounds later, having developed anxiety attacks, as I eat kale and tomato trying to detox and undo the harm that I've done to my body both mentally and physically, I realize that I lost sight of the destination: the obstacles remain the same but the reward that is freedom is unparalleled. | | “I mean, it’s evident that I’m irrelevant to society”- Kendrick Lamar, The Blacker the Berry | |
< < | While I’m trying to forge my own path, whole communities are being poisoned, the education system is in shambles, gun violence is the leading cause of death for black children and teens, the unemployment rate among black women demographic can’t seem to improve, among many other issues. Yet, I am trying to operate within this system. Is the choice between forging my own path (or believing in this illusion) really that much different from following the one laid out for me, if they ultimately lead to the same destination? Who gave me the tools to carve out my own path, and who will ultimately tell me how far I can go? Is the difference between that, and joining the parade simply an illusion? As a black woman in this society, I have to question the credibility of the idea of “the pursuit of happiness.” Am I really driving the car or in my attempt to start an uprising, am I forgetting that the car was built by Ford?
Interestingly enough, this above illustration doesn’t account for gender discrimination. Lose 100 turns. #SayHerName | > > | While I’m trying to forge my own path, whole communities are being poisoned, the education system is in shambles, gun violence is the leading cause of death for black children and teens, the unemployment rate among black women demographic can’t seem to improve, among many other issues. Trying to operate within this system can be incredibly discouraging. | | | |
> > | But reflecting back on these past 10 months, I quickly realize that I was looking through the wrong lens. "I'm irrelevant to society" but whose opinion am I putting on a pedestal? Because I am relevant to me. When you spend time in a bubble, you forget who you are and why you're there. People that are not really there for you put on the disguise of friendship and cheerfully steer you in the wrong direction. Someone tells me that the harm I'm doing my body is worth it because I'm going to make 160K and I believe them. When you're at the starting line, and you're tired and weary, everything looks the same from a distance. I tricked myself into thinking that "whether or not I'm driving the car, I'm still operating within the confines of society and the car is still built by Ford." I forgot (or ignored) the fact that I can take that car and drive it off a cliff if I want to. I can break that car apart and build my own if I choose to. I can turn off the car, take a break, and sit in the middle road to figure out my next move if I wish. I can return the car and choose to walk. The destination is absolutely not the same even if the road that leads to these destinations is littered with trials. | | “The revolution will be no re-run brothers; The revolution will be live” - Gil Scott-Heron | |
< < | Live. In the present, inconvenient, and difficult. Is the pursuit of happiness the act of insurgency? Of refusing to conform, of choosing creativity, knowing all the while that instead of creating a new government (because you can’t), you’re simply choosing to act in accordance with it. Along side the government, instead of inside it. I’m still in the process of determining what freedom means to me and haven’t to a personal conclusion yet. The revolution is live, and I need to take an active role in choosing to unplug the television. Is turning off the television enough for me when I know I’ll never be truly free? Is the revolution, for my generation, getting others to turn off the television so that one day we can in fact create new forms of governance? I don’t have the answers. Until then, I’ll reflect while watching Kendrick Lamar’s Grammy Performance, taking in the irony of it all. | > > | Living in the present is inconvenient, and difficult. But it is necessary. I've come to the conclusion that the pursuit of happiness is the act of insurgency. I cannot believe I have spent an entire school year telling myself otherwise. I refuse to conform. I choose creativity. I choose to turn off the television. I'm very aware that I'm operating in a society that was built on the backs of slaves. But I've come to believe that happiness isn't necessarily achieving absolute freedom but that the act of rebellion, of choosing to live a life that is my own, is happiness. | | | |
< < | “There will be no highlights on the eleven o’clock News…The revolution will not be televised” – Gil Scott-Heron | > > | I'm here, I've chosen to come to Columbia and I'm going to craft my own education. No Professors specializing in law in Africa? I'm going to start my own reading groups. I'm going to study abroad the entirety of 3L because I want to. I'm going to start my own projects and take an active role in seeking options outside the box, of opening myself up to alternatives. | | | |
> > | Step one: shedding the weight, both figuratively and literally, and creating the space for ideas to blossom. | | | |
> > | “There will be no highlights on the eleven o’clock News…The revolution will not be televised” – Gil Scott-Heron | | | |
< < |
The best route to improvement of the draft is to remove rhetorical
questions and replace them with statements. From that process we
can expect something to develop that will be the theme of the next
draft.
From my point of view as reader, the crux of the current draft lies
in these sentences: "I could take an active role, ask questions,
demand to be educated properly and figure out a life of lawyering
that is good for me outside the scope of the conventional
system. But I would still be operating within the confines of a
system that was not created for me to succeed." This apparently
means something to you that it doesn't mean to me, and it would be
helpful, certainly to the reader and I think to the writer, to
unpack it. Rarely have I known anyone who lived in a world created
for her or him to succeed; those I have known tended not to be
successful. Jews almost anywhere, women in almost all societies at
every time, short people, sexual minorities, near-sighted people,
left-handed people, Mangliks, Dalits, Swedish speakers in Finland,
those who cannot walk, or hear, the poor who are the overwhelming
mass of humanity---they are all operating within a system not
created for them to succeed. And so? I don't know from what you've
written, or from my experience outside the context of your writing,
why this constitutes in some way an argument against, using and
improving your mind and acting creatively in society. Surely this
is the strongest reason for doing what it will take to produce a
stronger, freer, more capable mind backing a more liberated life.
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