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KurtLynFirstPaper 5 - 24 Jun 2013 - Main.EbenMoglen
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META TOPICPARENT | name="FirstPaper" |
| | What I have come to realize throughout the semester, is that whether I am lucky or not, deserve or don’t deserve to be here, is largely irrelevant in determining what comes next. It is admirable to appreciate that I am here and that I have slightly begun to understand the way the system works but that it is no longer enough to simply know that we are smart, young and lucky. At the same time however, I believe that it is too difficult and somewhat meaningless to create specific objectives and goals far in advance, such as the specific sector of law, in house or partner, public or private. It is far easier to keep a simple framework in mind, mine being, in no particular order, to have a substantial income, a close family, and eventually control my own hours. Ultimately, I feel the specifics and the details are shaped by events and experiences that have yet to happen, while the simple framework is always something fully determined by me.
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Which leaves us sort of nowhere, really, I think. Taken literally,
the paragraph says that you learned that the subject of the essay so
far is largely irrelevant, and there's not much that can be said
about the future, because the details of the future are shaped by
things that haven't happened yet.
This isn't very good for the reader, who seems to have gone on a
wild goose chase, rather than a trip from the starting point to
somewhere past the end. We've followed an idea that turned out to
be mostly irrelevant on a trip to a destination we can't see. The
essay has become rather self-neutralizing. What I think we need is
an animating central idea that we can watch you develop to a
satisfying conclusion that still leave some room for the reader to
venture further on herself.
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Revision 5 | r5 - 24 Jun 2013 - 18:54:53 - EbenMoglen |
Revision 4 | r4 - 08 Apr 2013 - 23:00:40 - KurtLyn |
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