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LisaXiaFirstEssay 6 - 23 Apr 2016 - Main.LisaXia
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| META TOPICPARENT | name="FirstEssay" |
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| | | “To the love of my life and the girl of my dreams…You had the brightest smile and the kindest soul that any human being could have had and I miss you dearly…Words can barely describe what you meant to me.” | |
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< | Facebook provides one way for people to cope with a death. A Facebook page is so personal that even after death, it seems as if it is a portal that can be used to communicate with the deceased. Posting to a wall, sending a private message, tagging them in a status - whatever your preferred method of expression is - you can communicate it in that way. The Facebook profile serves as an outlet - where people can reach out and feel as if they are still able to send the deceased a message somehow. And despite the public nature of the posts (except private messages), the posts are still personal - and sometimes even cathartic. Posts speak of specific memories and talk about the special value of friendship their relationship had. These posts honor the deceased and help to show the world (her universe of friends) her best qualities and traits. And reading these posts help - if only just a little. The posts show that you are not alone in your grieving and also provide new support networks that you can reach out to. | >
> | This is not a defense or justification of using Facebook or of social media; rather, it's a simple observation of an unexpected use. Facebook provides one way for people to cope with a death. A Facebook page is so personal that even after death, it seems as if it is a portal that can be used to communicate with the deceased. Posting to a wall, sending a private message, tagging them in a status - whatever your preferred method of expression is - you can communicate it in that way. The Facebook profile serves as an outlet - where people can reach out and feel as if they are still able to send the deceased a message somehow. And despite the public nature of the posts (except private messages), the posts are still personal - and sometimes even cathartic. Posts speak of specific memories and talk about the special value of friendship their relationship had. These posts honor the deceased and help those who wish to remember her best qualities and traits as someone who impacted not just one person (you), but a whole community of people. And reading these posts help - if only just a little. The ability to experience other people's relationship with the deceased allows you to put yourself in the shoes of the person writing the post and to better understand and empathize with how they're feeling. By immersing yourself in these remembrances, I think you are honoring the person in the best way you can: by appreciating all of her traits and qualities - not just the ones you were familiar with. | | | | |
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< | I think the ability to experience other people's relationship with the deceased is a good way to remember him or her. It allows you to put yourself in the shoes of the person writing the post and to experience how he or she was in various contexts. It provides a deeper insight and adds [perceived] value into the loss that someone feels. By immersing yourself in these remembrances, I think you are honoring the person in the best way you can: by appreciating all of her traits and qualities - not just the ones you were familiar with. | >
> | In addition to helping remember the goodness of that person, the posts show that you are not alone in your grieving and also provide new support networks that you can reach out to. Several years ago, a high school friend of mine passed away in an accident. Her family used Facebook as a way to keep the community informed about her condition, to ask for support and prayers, and ultimately, to disseminate information about funeral proceedings and memorial services. But it didn't end there. Friends each chose a day of the year to remember and honor her memory. Even now, almost three years later, there is a new post a day on her wall.
Her father said: "Julia turned me on to FB six years ago today. It has been my pleasure getting to know her beautiful friends on FB since she went home to heaven. You are an inspiration to me."
For many, after the death of a loved one, Facebook has been a place where they can be a part of an ever-present community - one which can support, encourage, and inspire as time passes. |
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| Revision 6 | r6 - 23 Apr 2016 - 13:18:00 - LisaXia |
| Revision 5 | r5 - 22 Apr 2016 - 04:58:39 - LisaXia |
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