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> | Privacy in the Digital Age | | | | |
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< | Second Semester Progression | >
> | -- By LisaXia - 05 Jun 2016 | | | | |
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< | -- By LisaXia - 01 Apr 2016 | >
> | In my last essay, I began to explore the question of why I should care about privacy rights. I asked why the right to privacy felt, to me, inconsequential. I did not feel uncomfortable with the fact that my online profiles could be exploited to reveal my personal preferences, search history, or even how I chose to interact with people and content. I knew that companies were selling my personal information to other companies that wanted to target their products at me, however, I felt like targeting Internet users with personalized ads seemed so natural. In retrospect, I think I understand why I felt that way. | | | | |
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> | The fact of the matter is: I grew up with the Internet. As a fourth grader, I was already blogging about my personal life. Initially, I only had a blog that I shared with my friends, but later, in high school, I began writing in a “private” blog as well – that is, a blog that I didn’t share with any of my friends, but that anyone on the Internet could view. I treated this blog more like a personal diary, where I would often write about things that were on my mind that I didn’t necessarily want to share with my friends or family. It wasn’t that I didn’t want anyone to see it – it was more that I didn’t want the blog to be traced back to me by the people that knew me. The fact that some hypothetical being “somewhere out there” could arguably find out that the blog belonged to me didn’t matter to me – after all, I was just posting about trivial high school things. As silly as it sounds, the Internet almost felt like it was a friend to me. It was always there when I needed it; it provided me with endless hours of entertainment; it helped me with my homework, and I trusted it with all of my thoughts and teenage musings. I guess, in a way, I think the Internet always felt like a safe haven to me. Even after I stopped blogging about my life, I continued to feel that “trust” with the new sites I was beginning to use. | | | | |
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< | Stage 1: Cruising
“And here,” the professor said, circling his laser pointer around a dip in the PowerPoint? chart, “is where most law students feel the most hopeless in their law school careers.” | >
> | Moreover, when most social networking sites launched, ads were not as personalized and were usually confined to advertising on the tops or sides of pages. Thus, as time passed and these social networking sites began to advertise more specifically and in less obvious places, they were able to evolve under its users’ noses in a slow enough pace that many users did not see the change. The gradual progression of the native and programmatic advertising and the mere fact that many people were using these sites from a young age led many users to turn away from caring about digital privacy. However, now, more and more, I am finally beginning to see the perversity of our digital lifestyles. | | | | |
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< | Great, I thought in response, just in time for my birthday. In actuality, I didn’t really believe that. Beside the exams and the cold calls, I had loved first semester, and naively, I assumed second semester would be the same. I sighed to myself. Do people really feel that way? People are way too serious here. Yeah, no denying I wish I had better grades from the first semester, but what was done was already done. I had made some really stupid mistakes on my exams, but I had also tried my best. I had really just come for the boxed lunch - my favorite law school “perk”. | >
> | After the semester ended, I read Prof. Harcourt’s book, Exposed: Desire and Disobedience in the Digital Age. While reading the book, I constantly felt appalled at the amount of consumerism, narcissism, and puppetry that no doubt surrounds the “expository society” today. The government and companies alike benefit from the digital age since most consumers are basically mindless sheep who succumb to their desires time and time again. | | | | |
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< | The professor was referencing the first weeks of February. He brought up several different reasons for this. Perhaps it was the bleak and windy weather coupled with the prospect of seemingly never-ending grey skies. Perhaps it was because the glamor and new-ness of law school had finally worn off. Perhaps it was because students began the semester with the intention of doing better than first semester, but a couple weeks in, they found themselves lacking motivation and concentration. He explained that whatever the reasons, the data showed that students reported the worst quality of life and happiness rating during this time. He didn't mention that the discontent may have stemmed from students finally beginning to question their decision to come to law school. Instead, he smiled reassuringly and said, “Don’t worry, you are not alone.” | >
> | Prof. Harcourt said in his book: “There is hardly any need for illicit or surreptitious searches, and there is little need to compel, to pressure, to strong-arm, or to intimidate, because so many of us are giving all our most intimate information and whereabouts so willingly and passionately – so voluntarily.” The revelation that so many people are involuntarily being surveilled either in prison or with ankle bracelets while others voluntarily give up their information for the sake of convenience or vanity does not sit well. I realized the “affects my life right now test” is definitely NOT a good test. To not care about something just because it doesn’t seem like it’s influencing our life indicates a selfish lack of desire to be aware of your surroundings or to be able to recognize real problems that may not affect you just because of your class or demographic. Online surveillance may not seem to affect our [read: people in a certain income or racial group] life because we may be ‘privileged’ in some way. We are not in danger of the police creating fake social media accounts to try to find out more information about us. We don’t have to worry that we’ll be targeted because we have not acted out. We are of the conforming society, and by being a conformist, the government knows that they do not need to worry about us. | | | | |
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< | It was the end of January and I still felt great. I ate my boxed lunch cookie and thought about the readings I had to do and the job postings I was going to respond to. I had been applying to jobs since early December, so I was confident that I would hear back from at least one any day now.
Stage 2: Disintegration
Fast forward some weeks. It was about to be late-February and I had only heard back from one company to schedule an interview despite having applied to many, each of which I had tailored to fit the description. I was now procrastinating pretty hard on the milestones for my brief and I was behind in almost every class on my reading. Yet at the same time, I felt like I didn’t have time to do anything. Just as the professor at the lunch talk had said at the beginning of the semester, I was unhappy. I constantly felt stressed and like I didn’t know what aspect of my life to focus on. Although I was attending networking events left and right to practice talking to people and to force myself to get out of my comfort zone, the events typically left me with zero new contacts and feeling discouraged about finding a law firm that would be a good fit for me values and personality wise. My confidence levels somehow reached an all-time low. I began finding it very hard to speak to people and even harder to talk in class and to my professors. I felt very inadequate and like I was never going to be able to be a hirable lawyer, and that I was fundamentally not suited to become one.
How would anyone hire me or want me to work for them or be a lawyer for them if I couldn’t even speak without feeling insecure or like I wanted to pull a hood over my head and hide out until the socializing was over. The more I went to the networking events, the more my insides felt defeated. I couldn’t see myself working with any of the people I was meeting. Everyone around me seemed so capable. I couldn’t talk to anyone without feeling like my soul was crumbling to pieces just as their practice would if I was involved or given any responsibility (dramatic, yes, but this is how I really felt and kind of still feel).
Stage 3: Mend
As February gave way to March, recruiters seemed to wake with the spring. I was getting contacted by many and doing a number of interviews, yet, still, no one seemed to want me. Every interview I went to, I sat calmly across from my interviewer and spewed rehearsed words and pauses alike, while the voice within me cringed and criticized every word. I still couldn’t see myself at any of the companies I had interviewed at, though I obviously tried to portray otherwise. Finally, one day, I stepped into an office that reminded me a lot of my office at my old job. I felt immediately like I was home. A couple weeks later, I finally had a job offer. I took it happily.
Although I finally have a job lined up, law school has not retained its former glory. I still feel nauseous before I speak. I try envision myself bursting out of a cage in a cacophony of color. But then I start talking and I hear the shake in my voice and feel the flush creeping up my cheeks. The shy self inside me is surprisingly assertive and mean to me. I start to sweat. I feel trapped…I cannot wait to improve my speaking skills. In the law school, the walls feel strangely oppressive and constricting. I cannot wait to start my internship this summer - I can’t wait to learn the law in practice and have a purpose to speak out for. | >
> | I don’t want to be influenced by the Internet and social media anymore. I don’t want to be told to want a shiny, new product that seamlessly integrates the analog life with the digital life. I don’t want my Fitbit to tell me that my steps don’t count unless it’s recorded by my fitness tracker. I don’t want to thermostat that knows my life and my schedule. I don’t want to have to verify my identity on Coursera by typing a phrase multiple times so that Coursera can learn my “unique typing patterns” so that they can “confirm my identity throughout the course” to make sure I’m not cheating. I want to be in control of my personal information – how much of it I want to give out and to whom.
Harcourt says: “The line between governance, commerce, surveillance, and private life is evaporating.” And it’s true. As governance, commerce, and surveillance merge into one, the government and various corporations are working together to watch and enforce a way of life. They monitor and punish those who step out of the norm, and reward those who conform with more objects of desire and more words of affirmation, keeping the population blinded and subdued. Digital privacy IS important and hopefully soon, more people will begin to realize it. | | |
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