Mark, I think you have a lot to say and an interesting way of framing it all. I had difficulty parsing your individual sentences and ended up rewriting a lot more than I wanted to. In an effort to make the paper clear enough for me to easily understand, I am sure I inadvertently cut much of what you have to say. Hopefully you will be able to use some of my suggestions to find a satisfactory balance between clarity and sophistication.

At some points I am heavily relying on Eben’s vocabulary. The irony of repeating the professor verbatim in a paper about setting one’s own terms is not lost on me. I used Eben’s words because after a semester with him it is a shorthand vocabulary that we all share. Because I’d hate for Eben to think I was sucking up, I will add that I wrote this revision on my Windows partition in MS Word. -Alex Asen