It is possible that another wrong idea is also present. I think the therapist made a mistake: she was so busy trying to make sure you had a relationship with her that she forgot to have a relationship with you. Under your circumstances, at that time, this was normal. You missed the point the way you missed parents who knew how to live with one another and with you. Peterson made a mistake because he could read minds well enough to know when giving a speech wouldn't be productive. He was wisely chosen as a mentor, but all of us are creatures of habit. You made a mistake with Jon because you knew that was a question about how to find love, to which silence is always a possible response, but also a form of unintended rejection. We can't always love back, of course, even to make it unnecessary for a loveless young person to join a gang. Or perhaps especially. But on the other hand there weren't many people who were allowed to know that he sought love, and silence prevented him from being confirmed in his belief that another human being he trusted does too.

I don't think you're wrong, exactly, or even wrong. Moreover, I think you're right: there is a psychic division of labor in relationships, which you and I are not the first and second people to notice. We are indeed called upon to hold, lose, accept, reject etc. those aspects of others they struggle to accept, lose, hold, reject etc. for themselves. Once we have seen this about people, and learned about ourselves the strength of our powers in doing so, we face a decision about what to do with ourselves. Playing a long game is only one choice.