Law in Contemporary Society

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MeaganBurrowsFirstPaper 6 - 03 May 2012 - Main.MeaganBurrows
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 Acknowledgment of the restrictions posed by faithfulness to folklore in both politics and law enables us to capitalize upon political and legal opportunism. Creeds, symbols and slogans don’t need to be completely abandoned – in fact, they may be successfully manipulated for our own purposes. But we must also recognize that the comfort provided by blind faith and the fear of disillusionment and uncertainty can stifle creativity, imagination and improvement. Only then can we move forward to create complex composites that more accurately reflect reality, enabling us to engage dynamically with society and effect substantive change. (856)
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That's "effect" substantive change. A rare failure in your flow of words.
 
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The most important thing you need to do is shorten the paragraphs. You're a little wordy, of course, having this terrific flow of sophisticated ideas to offer, but even more than you are long in your sentences you are long in your paragraphs. If you break them up the reader will be more able to assimilate what you are pressing into service, and you will be the more able to hack into the bushy thicket of the sentences. Time 1 and Time 2 and Country A and Country B will become "different times and places," or even disappear altogether. The sophisticated will become more simple without being any less smart. What glimmers now will glisten to knock the eye out. And you'll have more room for more ideas.


Revision 6r6 - 03 May 2012 - 01:19:08 - MeaganBurrows
Revision 5r5 - 18 Apr 2012 - 04:25:23 - MeaganBurrows
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