Elitism and Guilt: Navigating Privilege in Unjust Power Structures

Background

I am the first person in my family to graduate from college. I am also the first person in my family to pursue a law degree. When I initially moved from California to New England and into my freshman dorm at Dartmouth College, I knew that it was a privilege to be there, but I was yet to fully understand why. What I’ve realized about being at a school like Dartmouth College, and now Columbia Law School, is that it truly gives you a privileged position. It has opened my eyes to consistently being given the benefit of the doubt, with a little more respect to my name, and less of feeling like I have to prove that I belong in spaces I enter. I’ve noticed this in situations where recruiters will speak to you solely based on what law school you attend or knowing that if I get pulled over but I am wearing a Dartmouth or Columbia sweatshirt, they will feel more comfortable letting me go with a warning. There is usually an immediate baseline level of respect you are awarded.

I spent last summer as a fellow/summer associate at a big law firm and for the first time in my life I was making more money than I had ever had, and yet I was paying for less things than ever before: our Ubers were compensated and lunches were paid for. Throughout this experience I felt an overwhelming sense of pride and guilt. I was proud to be in a space I had worked hard for, and yet I felt guilty that I got to experience this world, but my family members did not. I felt guilty that my parents did not get to experience this – and that many family members and friends have not and will not. I am not trying to glorify big law positions, because I know I will be putting in grueling hours, but that’s the funny thing about big law hours. Although they are intimidating, I have many family members and friends who are working just as many hours and just as hard, but for a fraction of the pay.

Systemic Exclusion and Elitism

For an institution to remain “elite,” by definition, it must exclude others. Some of the guilt I feel stems from knowing that I benefit from the exclusion that helps maintain the elite status of an institution. I know that I hope to one day be a part of the 6% Latino licensed attorneys in California, even though Latinos comprise 36% of the state’s population (The State Bar of California, 2022), but I always question the relationship between meritocracy and luck. Where does this underrepresentation of Latino attorneys come from, and as I work to become one, do I reinforce some of the unjust power structures that work to benefit myself, but not all.

I think this touches on the idea of representation within the legal system, and how people often push back on the idea that representation is closer to achieving equality. We’ve seen it time and time again when we finally have diverse representatives in the legal system and in government, but they don’t fight for the communities they are a part of. They too benefit from being a part of such institutions, but either forget or don’t realize that being in those positions is a combination of hard work and luck.

Meritocracy and Luck

I know that I work hard to achieve the goals I set for myself, but I also believe that hard-work and luck go hand-in-hand. I feel a deep guilt when my friends and family who also attended school and worked hard, but have not had many of the same opportunities. I think this is the same guilt many first-generation students feel towards their parents who sacrificed so much to give them a better life, but actually taking advantage of that “better life,” comes at its own cost. The cost is being away from family, especially when the Latinx community is so family and community oriented.

Going Forward

Sources

Paper Title

-- By PaolaTejedaGonzalez - 16 Feb 2025

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