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ShawnFettySecondPaper 6 - 27 Apr 2010 - Main.AjKhandaker
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< | Shawn, hopefully I’ve understood your argument as you intended, as follows: (1) The national dietary guidelines are, at present, more harmful than helpful. (2) It would be infeasible to fix the guidelines due to the inevitable pressure from the food industry (3) Even if it were feasible to make the guidelines say what we wanted them to say, nutrition science is still at a stage in which institutionalizing the current theories will do more harm than good. Therefore, we should ditch the national dietary guidelines. | >
> | Shawn, hopefully I've understood your argument as you intended it, as follows: (1) The national dietary guidelines are, at present, more harmful than helpful. (2) It would be infeasible to fix the guidelines due to the inevitable pressure from the food industry (3) Even if it were feasible to make the guidelines say what we wanted them to say, nutrition science is still at a stage in which institutionalizing the current theories will do more harm than good. Therefore, we should ditch the national dietary guidelines. | | | I think a critical reader would focus on two points: | | | I tried to clarify the conclusion and tie it back to the introduction by indicating that the dietary guidelines are both necessary and necessarily flawed, but individuals could take steps to mitigate the harms caused by the guidelines. However, it is entirely possible that I just made the conclusion unclear. | |
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< | Overall, I like this paper, and I find it persuasive, interesting, and well-organized. I think the anecdote about your dad shows that you’ve thought about and care about this issue. The Stanford study on the relative effectiveness of the Atkins diet supports the notion that the institutionalized guidelines lead many people to a misguided view of nutrition, with widespread harmful effects. I think you did a great job with the 1000 words you are given, especially given the complexity of the issue you’re tackling. | >
> | Overall, I like this paper, and I find it persuasive, interesting, and well-organized. I think the anecdote about your dad shows that you’ve thought about and care about this issue. The Stanford study on the relative effectiveness of the Atkins diet is intriguing, and it supports your idea that the current institutionalized guidelines lead many people to a misguided view of nutrition, with widespread harmful effects. I think you did a great job with the 1000 words you are given, especially given the complexity of the issue you’re tackling. | | |
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