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SuzanAbebeSecondEssay 4 - 15 Jun 2015 - Main.EbenMoglen
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| | | The more I analyze why it is I am so apprehensive about beginning my own practice straight out of law school, the more I realize it is largely because of that fear you picked up on. It doesn’t feel like my experience is the all or nothing kind my parents faced to make life better for us. For me, it feels like I can enter the pawn shop, get my 160k and have my community say, “hey that Abebe kid has really made something of herself” even if I am miserable OR take the road of uncertainty to being my own boss but potentially create something good. I am scared about starting my own practice, because I am scared about failure. More specifically, I am scared about hiring people who will depend on me for their livelihood. I am scared about not knowing enough and advising clients on matters that could make or break them. I am scared that I am losing my Amharic speaking capabilities and predict that a good portion of my clientele will probably be Ethiopian who will need that. I’m still not at the point where I have decided just exactly what I will do, but I think confronting this apprehensions is a start. I’m also tailoring the rest of my time in law school to gain the most amount of practical experience that I can get. | |
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Great. So now you know where your roots are. You grow from fearless determination. From self-reliance so profound that a smile is too much dependence on the stranger who smiles back. If you were instinctively that, as you think you wish, it might be a prison for you. But to choose, despite fear, to draw from your roots, is strength and freedom all at once.
To keep your book wider than the nut (the nut is singular, as is the book, and the bolt was a beautiful improvisation of your own), it helps to have a supporter who believes as firmly as you do, and you have. That's a fortune in its own right.
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You are entitled to restrict access to your paper if you want to. But we all derive immense benefit from reading one another's work, and I hope you won't feel the need unless the subject matter is personal and its disclosure would be harmful or undesirable. |
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