Black Tongues Can Lick, Too

-- By TashaylaBorden - 05 Apr 2023

"The Black girls will do the work, I don't think I need to"

"She got good hair"

"I like her because she yellow"

"Yo, I didn't want to holler at the darkie, I wanted the light bright, the yellow-bone"

"Black women are bottom of the barrel"

"My homies would clown me for dating a Black girl dawg."

"I don't like Black girls, they are loud, ghetto and...yeah. They do too much"

"Black bitch, that is why I don't fuck with you anyway"

"I mean, I slept with the darkie because I wanted a nut"

"You aren't mixed so you can't get in"

"I don't want any Black woman with short hair"

"I got me a mixed girl, they elite"

"She light and bright, I am fucking with it"

"Bright eyes man, she foreign for real"

"She exotic"

"I got me a white girl, they less trouble"

"Yeah, no one fucks with Black girls because no one wants those problems"

"Why are you so loud?"

"You are just overthinking shit"

"You are just projecting shit"

"This isn't even an issue, I date Black women."

"Why are you worried about what Black men do or who they date?"

"Mixed girls are Black"

"Butch Black lesbian"

"No, no, you're exaggerating the issue"

"No, it is in your head, no one thinks like this"

"No, that isn't the problem"

"No, there isn't a problem"

"It's all in your head"

"Get over it"

Ideologies within the Black community, argued by some to be mere words, directly tie into the lives of Black women. Many outside sentiments can make light of "unwanted commentary" by reducing it to "you should not matter what they think." Or, more generally, "Black women, these common experiences of colorism and featurism, these degrading moments are merely filled words. How can you possibly, you insignificant creatures, hold on to such simple words?" But the question is, are these mere words or do they come from somewhere? Additionally, where do they go after being such words? Words do have power because they call out deeper truths. We see this when Black is called the n word. It escapes to the psyche, even implicitly. Further, these words are accompanied by actions that can hurt.

I can think of the Black Panther Party's issues with sexual violence. Kathleen Cleaver said that "the Black men would let it be known that they thought white women was beautiful and they say they didn't want any ugly black woman with short hair." This, if anything, demonstrates an old problem of self-hatred within the Black community, of the men degrading their own women, but again, these are only words, Right? Or did it harken to a deeper issue of patriarchy? Of sexual violence? In objectifying and deeming value to women by their shade? The color hierarchy says, and this rang true in the book 'Their Eyes Were Watching God" by Zora Neale Hurston, you are valued by your proximity to whiteness. This isn't a value demanded by mere words, but supported by toxic community action. Colorism and texturism have tangible real-world manifestations. It tells Black women whoever is lighter will get the job. It tells Black women, you must apologize if your hair is short from forcing perms and straighters or not a loose 2c curl. An issue voiced with the Crown Act. It tells Black women to be wary of community because if something happens in the community, be it sexual violence or aggression, you will not be the ones supported. Black women's lives are not valued unless you are an object of desirability.

Troublesome are these tongues when you consider how Black men hold value as gatekeepers of the community as well. I remember a dark skin man did not let me into a club in France, letting in the Black men with white women or those passed as "tize," an objectifying slang for girls with a lighter hue. The Black women in France told me "Oh girl, the men are the ones who control the access. They are the community. They don't really think of the darkies." I believe that is true in my own community as well. As much I have lived and felt the lives of the women before me, I know it to be true.

Which voices go heard in this community? Which historians do we keep note of? One may ask themself, "well, I know of these Black women and it is important to not let that stop you," but the framing of the question is not one to ask Black women to look past. The point is while an individual may know of Black women who influence them, that is not the case within the community. We are powerful creatures, yes, but in explaining these systems we gain clarity. We notice patterns. Black women's work goes unrecognized. Often, Black men get praise for their thoughts of community all while proving to be hypocritical in reality. The common idea of unity in our community works in a main way: to support the men and burden the women. A very gendered idea as well. Much of the work in our communities thrives off the back of women's labor. Looking at my experiences in education (Columbia and Connecticut College), Black women make up most of the boards of leadership, exert most of the work for community engagement, and without them, there would not be organizations for our community members to go to. Lived experiences are a common theme in Black feminist literature. Patricia Hill Collins, Black feminist theorist, voiced so many of my lived experiences in "Black Feminist Thought." Collins told me that Black women would need to eventually revaluate our muling, to which I agree. We must come together and craft our own community that actively deconstructs notions of white supremacy. We must hold others accountable and ultimately go to where we are loved and desired. Reminding ourselves of our value is how we choose peace and find happiness.

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