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TonyWangFirstEssay 3 - 01 Jun 2024 - Main.TonyWang
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< | Friendships | >
> | Jealousy in Friendships | | | | |
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< | -- By TonyWang - 24 Feb 2024 | >
> | -- By TonyWang - 31 May 2024 | | | | |
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< | Ancient Wisdom | | | | |
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< | Aristotle’s Three Bases of Friendships | >
> | The Problem | | | | |
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< | In books VIII and IX of Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics, he posited there are three bases of friendship - pleasure, strategic advantage, and goodwill. Friendships based on pleasure are conditioned on each party’s derivation of pleasure from the other party’s company; however, should that derivation stop, the friendship begins to diminish. This is structurally parallel to friendships based on strategic advantage, which can refer to money, power, and gains from trade and cooperation, etc. Different, however, are friendships based on goodwill - these friendships are conditioned on each party’s care and interest in the well-being on the other party, being personally interested in the other’s downfalls and good times, not out of selfish motivations to derive pleasure or advantage, but simply to the benefit of the other party. Aristotle believes this is motivated by goodwill, but there can be other motivations — love, respect, virtue, but certainly not pleasure or advantage. The ultimate goal of friendship, set forth by Aristotle and upon which I guide my friendships, are true friends. He defines true friends as friends about whom you care similar to how you care about yourself. I believe this can be achieved once you view your friends as an extension of yourself — their fortunes become your fortunes, their downfalls your downfalls, but you effectively operate as a collective.
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Chinese Philosophy | >
> | People can become jealous of their friends when good fortune befalls them. I fall short in this regard at times. Rather than resort to proverbs or philosophy to address why this happens and how to deal with it, I will delve into my own experiences — why I might feel this jealousy, and how I construct a version of friendship that can stop me from feeling this way. In doing so, I hope to provide a perspective that the reader can look into when faced with similar siatuations. | | | | |
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Across Eurasia, in ancient China, its philosophy also attempted to theorize friendship. However, because Chinese philosophy lacked the Socratic approach, it instead came up with guidelines that lacked an explanation like the one mentioned above. Surprisingly, it came to similar results: its guidelines for true friends (referred to as “brothers with different blood”) are congruent with Aristotle’s meaning of true friends. One guideline states thalllll: “brothers are your hands and feet”, implying you think of what happens to your brothers as what happens to you. If they suffer, it is your suffering by extension. This is another way of Aristotle’s assertion that true friends are those about whom you care similar to how you care about yourself. | | | | |
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> | Sources of Jealousy | | | | |
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< | Operationalizing Wisdom | >
> | Ego
I suspect one explanation or contributing factor is my ego and pride. When I make a new friend, I will through countless shared experiences and interactions develop a relationship based on mutual respect. Gradually, I begin to view him or her as my peer — different in personality, yet an equal. However, when something extraordinarily wonderful befalls them, among the positive emotions I feel, jealousy creeps in, like a voice telling me that we are no longer am at the same level. Their good fortune has lifted them to a different stage in life, concomitant with new realities that I cannot partake in. In these moments, some recurring thoughts are that: “I no longer have what it takes to be their equal, and they are no longer my peer, but have rather evolved beyond my level.” This feeling that it is now in my friend’s interest to leave me behind in the dust while I have done nothing wrong to be abandoned by them threatens my ego and pride, as I now feel worse than someone who was previously my peer. | | | | |
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Ancient wisdom around friendship can help us orient our relationships today, but how to operationalize that in modern times is unclear. I will do so below. | >
> | Fear
Another explanation and contributing factor is my fear of abandonment and insecurity — fear that my friend about whom I cared deeply, now with their newfound success, may decide that I am no longer able to keep up with their new life and are holding them back. That friend may decide to leave me for new friends who are better suited to his new status. This form of abandonment is out of my control — nothing I did costed me this friendship and resulted in this abandonment. This insecurity and fear may have led to me developing jealousy as a Defense mechanism — by becoming jealous of that friend in question, negative emotions will be borne, and gradually I will distance myself from said friend, thus shielding myself from the emotional pain that would result should the day come when they do decide to abandon me. In other words, jealousy is a way of cushioning my feelings as an insurance for when a friend with their newfound fortune decides to abandon our friendship . | | | | |
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< | Commonality in Character | | | | |
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< | We live in a world of division. Differences exist between peoples — culture, language, habits, religions, and views. However, we are all humans, so we must share some common values irrespective of differences in origin — for example, humans dislike betrayal and treachery and like loyalty, we dislike those who never reciprocate what we give but conversely are attracted to generosity… So while differences between people’s cultures, religions, and habits could potentially make or break a friendship based on pleasure or advantage, a true friendship can exist despite these differences, because a true friendship necessitates something else — character. Commonality in character is necessary in a true friendship. It will not be sufficient, however, as people will need to go through what I call “character-revealing events” to correctly assess each other’s character, and these events do not occur frequently, the infrequency of which results in missed opportunities for true friendship. Timing, luck, and other conditions need to happen to create the conditions for true friendship, but what is clear is that commonality in character is a necessary condition. | | | | |
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< | Modern Woes With Friendship | >
> | My Coping Mechanism | | | | |
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< | Many friendships result in heartbreak for two reasons: for one, people mis-group their friends, not understanding the basis of their relationship and accordingly having expectations inconsistent with the nature of their friendships. Secondly, they incorrectly assess the other party’s character, giving them the access to one’s true friendship when they only deserve to be friends of pleasure or advantage. This latter tragedy can be avoided with good judgement of character, which can be gained through experiences, but the first tragedy can be avoided upon rationalizing friendships the way I have described. | >
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To cope with these negative feelings of ego and insecurity, I have formulated a construction of friendship wherein friendship is like a social contract conditioned on each party’s care and interest in the well-being on the other party, a relationship I have labeled “True Friendship”. In this construction, being true friends means being personally invested in the other’s downfalls and good times, not out of selfish motivations to derive pleasure or benefit from the other person, but simply to the benefit of the other party. I thus define true friends as those people about whom you care almost as much as you care about yourself. I achieve this by viewing my “True Friends” as an extension of myself — their fortunes become my fortunes, their downfalls my downfalls. Effectively, we operate as a collective. | | | | |
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> | This is similar to a contract, where in order to enjoy the care and love of people within this collective of “True Friends”, one must pay the consideration of viewing people in this collective as an extension of himself. If something terrible befalls your hand, though you may not suffer to the same degree, yet you share in the pain. Vice versa, if something amazing befalls your arm, though you may not benefit in tantamount, yet you share in the joy. The reason I use this construction of friendship to cope is that by treating my friend’s fortunes and misfortunes as my own and making sure he does the same, I receive a promise not to be abandoned should their good fortune uplift them to a reality in which I am inadequate to partake in. | | | | |
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The best route to improvement is to give the essay a reason to exist. The reader doesn't come upon an idea that, briefly stated at the outset, provides a reason to engage. Aristotle said something; "Chinese philosophy" said something else (though aside from a proverb, we have no idea who it was, or why; human relationships are difficult, friends are sometimes not what we think they are; experience improves our judgment of character. This is rather thin gruel, The reader is not well repaid for the investment of time. The language lies flat on the page, as though put together by machine rather than as a record of human learning. The "I" who concludes by asserting that he should be taken as good counsel has never otherwise appeared. If he is in law school, or this is a pillar of his lawyer's theory of social action, or if the learning that went into this draft—such as it was (is Aristotle "Socratic"? Did Plato get the memo?)—has affected what sort of lawyer he is thinking he wants to become, we wouldn't have any way to know. The draft is equally distant from both writer and reader, however mechanically or organically it was made.
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> | Now, one might ask, how can I enforce these promises? After all, there is no enforcement mechanism to this contract, and no cost to breaching the promise. My friend could very well choose to abandon me once they cross that bridge and throw away all promises they made prior to entering into contract. | | | | |
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> | Regarding that question, I have no clear answers, I have only a method of reassurance. I begin with the premise that people’s character and values do not fundamentally change short of some life-changing event. I then assess whether that person’s character is one that is capable of making a promise and keeping it in the absence of enforcement mechanisms or breaching costs. In the past, I have experienced friendships that have failed me in that regard, but I have rationalized and made sense of these failures as being a result of my faulty assessment of people’s character - ie, being fooled by their false personas rather than testing them in difficult situations. Presently, my assessment comprises of what I call “character-revealing events” to correctly assess each potential friend’s character, but these events do not occur frequently, the infrequency of which results in missed opportunities for true friendship. Timing, luck, and other conditions need to happen to create the conditions for true friendship, but what is clear is that commonality in character is a necessary condition. | | |
You are entitled to restrict access to your paper if you want to. But we all derive immense benefit from reading one another's work, and I hope you won't feel the need unless the subject matter is personal and its disclosure would be harmful or undesirable. |
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TonyWangFirstEssay 2 - 29 Mar 2024 - Main.EbenMoglen
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< | It is strongly recommended that you include your outline in the body of your essay by using the outline as section titles. The headings below are there to remind you how section and subsection titles are formatted. | | | Friendships | | |
In books VIII and IX of Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics, he posited there are three bases of friendship - pleasure, strategic advantage, and goodwill. Friendships based on pleasure are conditioned on each party’s derivation of pleasure from the other party’s company; however, should that derivation stop, the friendship begins to diminish. This is structurally parallel to friendships based on strategic advantage, which can refer to money, power, and gains from trade and cooperation, etc. Different, however, are friendships based on goodwill - these friendships are conditioned on each party’s care and interest in the well-being on the other party, being personally interested in the other’s downfalls and good times, not out of selfish motivations to derive pleasure or advantage, but simply to the benefit of the other party. Aristotle believes this is motivated by goodwill, but there can be other motivations — love, respect, virtue, but certainly not pleasure or advantage. The ultimate goal of friendship, set forth by Aristotle and upon which I guide my friendships, are true friends. He defines true friends as friends about whom you care similar to how you care about yourself. I believe this can be achieved once you view your friends as an extension of yourself — their fortunes become your fortunes, their downfalls your downfalls, but you effectively operate as a collective. | |
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< | | >
> | I | | | Chinese Philosophy
| | | Many friendships result in heartbreak for two reasons: for one, people mis-group their friends, not understanding the basis of their relationship and accordingly having expectations inconsistent with the nature of their friendships. Secondly, they incorrectly assess the other party’s character, giving them the access to one’s true friendship when they only deserve to be friends of pleasure or advantage. This latter tragedy can be avoided with good judgement of character, which can be gained through experiences, but the first tragedy can be avoided upon rationalizing friendships the way I have described. | |
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The best route to improvement is to give the essay a reason to exist. The reader doesn't come upon an idea that, briefly stated at the outset, provides a reason to engage. Aristotle said something; "Chinese philosophy" said something else (though aside from a proverb, we have no idea who it was, or why; human relationships are difficult, friends are sometimes not what we think they are; experience improves our judgment of character. This is rather thin gruel, The reader is not well repaid for the investment of time. The language lies flat on the page, as though put together by machine rather than as a record of human learning. The "I" who concludes by asserting that he should be taken as good counsel has never otherwise appeared. If he is in law school, or this is a pillar of his lawyer's theory of social action, or if the learning that went into this draft—such as it was (is Aristotle "Socratic"? Did Plato get the memo?)—has affected what sort of lawyer he is thinking he wants to become, we wouldn't have any way to know. The draft is equally distant from both writer and reader, however mechanically or organically it was made.
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You are entitled to restrict access to your paper if you want to. But we all derive immense benefit from reading one another's work, and I hope you won't feel the need unless the subject matter is personal and its disclosure would be harmful or undesirable. |
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TonyWangFirstEssay 1 - 24 Feb 2024 - Main.TonyWang
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| META TOPICPARENT | name="FirstEssay" |
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It is strongly recommended that you include your outline in the body of your essay by using the outline as section titles. The headings below are there to remind you how section and subsection titles are formatted.
Friendships
-- By TonyWang - 24 Feb 2024
Ancient Wisdom
Aristotle’s Three Bases of Friendships
In books VIII and IX of Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics, he posited there are three bases of friendship - pleasure, strategic advantage, and goodwill. Friendships based on pleasure are conditioned on each party’s derivation of pleasure from the other party’s company; however, should that derivation stop, the friendship begins to diminish. This is structurally parallel to friendships based on strategic advantage, which can refer to money, power, and gains from trade and cooperation, etc. Different, however, are friendships based on goodwill - these friendships are conditioned on each party’s care and interest in the well-being on the other party, being personally interested in the other’s downfalls and good times, not out of selfish motivations to derive pleasure or advantage, but simply to the benefit of the other party. Aristotle believes this is motivated by goodwill, but there can be other motivations — love, respect, virtue, but certainly not pleasure or advantage. The ultimate goal of friendship, set forth by Aristotle and upon which I guide my friendships, are true friends. He defines true friends as friends about whom you care similar to how you care about yourself. I believe this can be achieved once you view your friends as an extension of yourself — their fortunes become your fortunes, their downfalls your downfalls, but you effectively operate as a collective.
Chinese Philosophy
Across Eurasia, in ancient China, its philosophy also attempted to theorize friendship. However, because Chinese philosophy lacked the Socratic approach, it instead came up with guidelines that lacked an explanation like the one mentioned above. Surprisingly, it came to similar results: its guidelines for true friends (referred to as “brothers with different blood”) are congruent with Aristotle’s meaning of true friends. One guideline states thalllll: “brothers are your hands and feet”, implying you think of what happens to your brothers as what happens to you. If they suffer, it is your suffering by extension. This is another way of Aristotle’s assertion that true friends are those about whom you care similar to how you care about yourself.
Operationalizing Wisdom
Ancient wisdom around friendship can help us orient our relationships today, but how to operationalize that in modern times is unclear. I will do so below.
Commonality in Character
We live in a world of division. Differences exist between peoples — culture, language, habits, religions, and views. However, we are all humans, so we must share some common values irrespective of differences in origin — for example, humans dislike betrayal and treachery and like loyalty, we dislike those who never reciprocate what we give but conversely are attracted to generosity… So while differences between people’s cultures, religions, and habits could potentially make or break a friendship based on pleasure or advantage, a true friendship can exist despite these differences, because a true friendship necessitates something else — character. Commonality in character is necessary in a true friendship. It will not be sufficient, however, as people will need to go through what I call “character-revealing events” to correctly assess each other’s character, and these events do not occur frequently, the infrequency of which results in missed opportunities for true friendship. Timing, luck, and other conditions need to happen to create the conditions for true friendship, but what is clear is that commonality in character is a necessary condition.
Modern Woes With Friendship
Many friendships result in heartbreak for two reasons: for one, people mis-group their friends, not understanding the basis of their relationship and accordingly having expectations inconsistent with the nature of their friendships. Secondly, they incorrectly assess the other party’s character, giving them the access to one’s true friendship when they only deserve to be friends of pleasure or advantage. This latter tragedy can be avoided with good judgement of character, which can be gained through experiences, but the first tragedy can be avoided upon rationalizing friendships the way I have described.
You are entitled to restrict access to your paper if you want to. But we all derive immense benefit from reading one another's work, and I hope you won't feel the need unless the subject matter is personal and its disclosure would be harmful or undesirable.
To restrict access to your paper simply delete the "#" character on the next two lines:
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| Revision 3 | r3 - 01 Jun 2024 - 00:12:46 - TonyWang |
| Revision 2 | r2 - 29 Mar 2024 - 18:13:00 - EbenMoglen |
| Revision 1 | r1 - 24 Feb 2024 - 00:31:32 - TonyWang |
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