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AdamMcclayPaper2 5 - 10 Dec 2008 - Main.AdamMcclay
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-- AdamMcclay - 08 Dec 2008 | | | As a primary offense, the Bureau recommends a concentrated bombardment of "Adam"'s Gmail account, focusing on movie tie-in editions of great novels, movie tie-in editions of terrible novels, and any new music released by an artist who has been recording for at least twenty-five years. In addition, manufacturers of fine timepieces and other accessories would be advised to advertise in the margins of "Adam"'s Facebook account. For maximum efficacy, the advertisements should feature ATBFs. | |
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< | The Bureau also advises that "Adam" may be exploited at establishments that alcoholic beverages. To this end, a single ATBF should be stationed at each of the two such establishments in Morningside Heights which "Adam" was recorded patronizing. These ATBFs could be made more appealing to it by outfitting them in clothing that proclaims their affinity for the movie tie-in edition of a great novel, the movie tie-in edition of a terrible novel, or any musical artist whose career began before 1983. Thus outfitted, it is the Bureau's prediction that an ATBF could sell almost anything to "Adam", but our recommendation is that they offer him clove cigarettes and solicit his membership in any of a number of organizations that require deceptively large financial commitments. | >
> | The Bureau also advises that "Adam" may be exploited at establishments that serve alcoholic beverages. To this end, a single ATBF should be stationed at each of the two such establishments in Morningside Heights where "Adam" has been recorded. These ATBFs could be made more appealing to "Adam" by outfitting them in clothing that proclaims their affinity for the movie tie-in edition of a great novel, the movie tie-in edition of a terrible novel, or any musical artist whose career began before 1983. Thus outfitted, it is the Bureau's prediction that an ATBF could sell almost anything to "Adam", but our recommendation is that they offer him clove cigarettes and solicit his membership in any of a number of organizations that require deceptively large financial commitments. | | | Finally, ATBF's might intercept "Adam" as it walks between Jerome Greene Hall and 629 West 115th Street at any time, outfitted as described above, with similar goals though most likely with less success.
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