Once you have stated your own idea (about which I must admit that the current draft leaves me not entirely certain, even by the time I have finished reading it for a second time), you can then use the central body of the essay to show how you came by it, to answer objections, and to present the most important consequences. So---if we posit for example that your primary point is that private power has ousted public, legal authority from the process of determining what happens to behavior data collected by telecomms and platforms---you can show briskly what Yochai and I have contributed to your thinking out of which you came to that conclusion. You can relate this to other forms of private power (over the physical environment, over the molecules of life and health, over the degree of "restraint of trade" exercised by the dominant competitors in goods and services markets, etc.), and discuss the forms of regulatory intervention that have been used to redress the balance between public and private power in those situations. A well-earned conclusion, then, can restate the primary force of the idea, and leave some implications for the reader to consider under her own steam.

Perhaps I don't have the central idea right; as I say, the existing draft is not particularly focused there. But, mutatis mutandis, the approach I'm suggesting should yield a richer next draft wherever the intellectual emphasis should fall.