The interesting part of the essay draft, from my point of view, is the identification of dependencies on service businesses that communicate through the Net. I would have expected you to investigate how, by legal, political, and technical means we could deal with the evident fact that all sorts of services (you didn't mention health care services) collect and manage data about us. You could certainly ask how far contract law can be used to include terms for user-protective data management, and how public regulation and general provisions on good faith and fair dealing might be made to help. Rather than diverting ourselves to FreedomBox, for the moment, let's ask about the legal and political contributions that the society can expect for dealing with the issues you've identified.