Keeryong, I agree that no more revision is needed. It seems to me that you've written an essay whose value to you is in the telling: what you have discovered about possibility. For readers who have grown up in this culture, on the other hand, the value is in the discovery of what they take for granted. The creativity inherent in a system that leaves people free to find their own way based on individual self-reflection rather than a operating "constructed self" based on others' opinions is often obscured from our sight, because we are so accustomed to it that we do not appreciate what it gives us. People come to this country to find this freedom, or they acquire a taste for it once they are here, but those of us who start with it often underestimate its meaning.