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StevenHwangPaper2 4 - 08 Feb 2009 - Main.StevenHwang
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Sending out an SOS… | |
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< |  | | | To the finder of this note: | | | Your friendly neighborhood series of tubes | |
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< |  | | | -- StevenHwang - 08 Dec 2008
- Here's an example of a genre in which 1,000 words is much too long. You can't make a commercial for something as complex as "net neutrality" (itself a completely intellectually irresponsible oversimplification of the concept of cooperative rather than competitive network infrastructure management) in 1,000 words, because readers need you to give them the whole message in a unit they can remember and reuse. The illustrations only make things worse, by adding various emotional responses to the understanding you hoped to create (although the cartoon on its own does a better job than your essay with the cartoon as illustration). If you want to make this work, you have to remove all thr anthropomorphism and pseudo-autobiography, and find a brief, punchy, absolutely clear way to convey the idea. Then you have to confront the analytical fact your advertisement necessarily glosses over: that the "network neutrality" way of conceiving the problem is a total load of horseshit deliberately invented by its enemies and taken up by advocates of freedom too stupid to know better.
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Thanks for the comment--I did not realize we were supposed to be checking the wiki still, so I didn't get it till today.
My paper (r2) was meant to be half-commercial and half-philosophical argument, based largely on Gerald Cohen's "Rescuing Justice and Equality" (2008) (i.e. social justice requires the consideration of a hypothetical first-person discussion between the oppressed and the oppressors--otherwise defensible positions based on arguments in the abstract may not hold water in such conversations, and thus fail to be considered truly just). It's a tough point to make in a single parenthetical, but my essay was an attempt to take it to an extreme and somewhat absurd level (said anthropomorphism and pseudo-autobiography) while retaining the general point--that there really isn't a just way to defend a system of competitive network management, as you put it. I had also hoped to add a touch of personality and humor (via the tone and the links). I had this all laid out in an introduction in the original 5k-word draft.
The illustration was a forced after-thought and clearly it came off as such.
Anyways clearly it failed in its delivery, so I'll rewrite based on your comment. I'm not 100% sure about how to hash out an oversimplification (net neutrality) while making it less complex and easier to digest, but I will do my best. The former part of your comment (simplifying the problem, making it easier to digest) might be more the focus of my revision than the later (inability of the concept to grasp even a significant part of the real problem). In my opinion, oversimplified and intellectually irresponsible is better than not understood and obscure--at least for my purposes. I'll give it a shot sometime today.
-- StevenHwang - 08 Feb 2009 | | |
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