Working within the Rigidly Ridiculous System

-- By Leyla Hadi - 25 Feb 2013

I. Questions and Answers at Interviews

A. Why did you decide to go to law school?

1. Distortion

2. Truth

B. What type of law do you see yourself practicing and/or where do you see yourself taking your career?

1. Distortion

2. Truth

II. What I Want

A. Why

I have been on a few job interviews for a summer position now. Why did you decide to go to law school? What type of law do you see yourself practicing and/or where do you see yourself taking your career? These questions require me to distort the truth when I respond, because the raw truth of those answers wouldn’t be appropriate at a job interview. So, I say the truth, but in the best possible light.

Distorted version: I wanted to do something challenging with my career, but, being twenty one, I wasn’t sure what that was, and I didn’t want to force myself down a particular route. People I spoke with advised me to consider law school, where I would be in a challenging environment that would open many more doors for me. So, I took their advice and took a year off in between to work at a law firm and see if I could see myself in the legal world. Turns out, I could.

Truth: I decided to go to law school because I had no idea what else to do with my life. I knew that I wanted to stay in the US. I knew that I wanted to do something. A part of me wanted to do good/fight for issues that I care strongly about. Another wanted to get rich. Another wanted to act. The world was my oyster; but not really, because life puts a gun to your head and forces you to make decisions. Practical stuff gets in the way. A visa. Money. Stability.

If the world were my oyster, I definitely would not be in law school.

Distorted version: I am actually not sure what I would like to do. I definitely find areas of practice interesting, including IP and labor law, but I haven’t had enough exposure to really be able to say at this time.

Truth: I have no idea where I see myself taking my career; and I have no idea what type of law I see myself practicing. Yes, there are a ton of areas I could potentially find interesting: LGBT rights, immigration reform, criminal justice system reform, advocating against the death penalty, advocating for the legalization of marijuana, education reform, working with music leasing, bringing down evil corporations, working on US-Pakistan relations, representing the Lakers, representing celebrities, abortion… there is so much I am interested in but again, there’s a gun to my head. I can’t just jump from each area like I live in some kind of gargantuan legal rotational system. I have to go down a path; and, despite the many possibilities listed above, the path probably won’t include any of the above. I’ll probably end up working at a firm, hopefully not a big one, and go where the path then takes me. Drags me?

My career isn’t the most important thing to me. It’s a shame that it is for so many people. I’ll do what I end up doing, and yes, it will probably be a big part of my life; but the people in my life are more important. If I can come home to the person I love every day for the rest of my life, who cares what I do to make some money so that we can live comfortably; no, well. If we can be good parents and be in love with our kids, and make sure that they have the best life possible, then I’ll do what I have to do for a while. And then, maybe I can do some of the more interesting stuff, when I can afford to.

Maybe it is my general pessimistic attitude about the world and how forces of evil are more powerful than forces of good, even though the forces of good are still definitely forces, creating change, moving us forward as a civilization in which people are more important than the whims and fancies of corporations and governments. Maybe I have realized that the structure of the way we exist as humans is totally absurd and mind-boggling, and we just have to do what we can to fit into it and play by its rules, and live in society, and go to school, and get a job, and have a family. Maybe I just don’t think that it’s worth my time to fight for a miniscule piece of change in this giant system of ridiculousness and wrongs right now, and that, right now, I need to pay off my debts, find a job that will sponsor my work visa, and try and learn as much as I can while I do it. Learn what not to become maybe – there’s sometimes more value in that than learning what to become.

I suppose the answer to what kind of lawyer I want to be is a happy one. When we first received the prompt for this assignment, I wrote down the various topic ideas that came to mind, either through reading cases or general observations. For example, I thought of manslaughter and how sad it is that someone can be thrown into prison for a pure accident, and why it exists and how to change it. But I’m sure thousands of people have had the same thoughts, and yet, it still exists. Change is hard. Right now, I can’t worry about changing a world that might not exist tomorrow. I can just worry about me and the people I love.