As an amendment to the 2006 (http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/bdquery/z?d109:SP4073) The Comprehensive Immigration Reform Act, the United States Congress declared that: “English is the common and unifying language of the United States.” Apparently, the 2006 not only decided that it was within its power to but also to invent and declare facts.

Language, in the abstract sense of the word, is always necessary for communication. In the absence of telepathy, language acts the sieve that quantizes our thoughts, feelings, and ideas for others to process. For the idiom fans among us, it gets us all on the same page. Or, for fans of demonstration, language helps me turn this...into this. Lawspeak, in this sense, is a language. For example, Lawspeak allows us to shove “the most complete form of ownership a person can have in a freehold estate” into the box of “fee simple absolute.” The dictionary of Lawspeak is filled with terms of art like “rational basis” and “strict scrutiny” that are express imprecise points on the spectrum of judicial review. (fn). And then, there are empty terms like “reasonable” that are so amorphous that they could mean pretty much anything depending on the context.

Information loss and communication gaps are inherent whenever we quantize ideas. To get a true understanding of law, the law student must see Lawspeak in context. (fn) Which is why, among other things, no competent Constitutional Law professor should skip Marshall's dissenting words in San Antonio v. Rodriguez where Marshall, in more eloquent words, reminds the law student that cases do not always “[neatly]” fall into boxes. Marshall's words serve as a reminder that the classifications, categories, and rules judges employ are not things in themselves. Rather, these categories exist as necessary, but crude representations of things or principles—approximations. And yet, law school teaches its students to cling to these half-baked concepts, rules, and terms as if they were real life actual things. Law school tells you that necessity is not a defense for murder.

And, it is at this point of realization (fn) that one becomes aware of the delicious irony that looms in the background of the law school experience. You begin to see lawspeak as it really exists, abstract concepts laid on top of other abstracts concepts, piled so high that only the person with a $150,000 diploma can access any of the ones that are helpful. And you begin to realize that law really is ”the ultimate institution” in the Arnoldian sense. For, lawspeak is the ultimate Arnoldian paradox: fools gold that functions not only as the intellectual currency that enables communication among lawyers and judges, but also as a barrier to prevent everyone else from understanding the communication. For the client, the more unhelpful the lawspeak, the more helpful the lawyer.

Because, a true lawyer is an advocate. Lawyers have clients and need to explain these concepts to clients in terms that they can understand. Lawyers need to be able to assess client needs. Because being an advocate is about knowing when to use lawspeak and when not to use lawspeak. Accessing ideas and knowing ideas is a different exercise than communicating ideas. also about about how to speak and navigate the minefield that law creates. or at least should not, be about . And, communicatin no matter how fluent you become in lawspeak, you will only be painting half of a picture because being a lawyer, not a judge or law professor, is not about knowing the half-baked language but about communicating it to clients. Or being a lawyer can be about the art selling the fools gold back to the person who sold it to you. Good lawyers will not ponitificate what the meaning of 'is' is, but will instead say it . about being able to argue over what the definition of what the wor there is a different language needed Lawyers need to know, learn, and perfect another language—one that is not taught in law school.

FN. An alternative metaphor, I thought of, for the imaginative among us: reading a Con Law case is sort of like waiting on line for a shitty like commuting for hours on the Underground from outer London to visit Buckingham Palace, wait hours on line admiring it from the outside, only to walk inside and find that .

FN. Then again, such a posture may be appropriate for something that amounts to little more than an organized ponzi scheme.

FN: The same can be said “red” and “green” on a color spectrum.

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