Our discussion today got me thinking (in what I hope is a useful, rather than in an Arnold-channeling-Thomas kind of way) about the definition of happiness. Eben mentioned that he doesn’t value happiness (at least in the central way that a student had suggested), but that living a life of meaning is important to him. (Please forgive me if I’ve understood anyone’s thoughts incorrectly.) For me, meaning is an important component of happiness.

I think that how one values happiness depends, in part, on how one defines the term. Happiness, to me, means being fulfilled, satisfied with both where my life is and where it’s going. It doesn’t mean feeling overwhelming comfort, or positive emotion - it means feeling like my life has a worthy purpose, and that I’m meeting the goals necessary to achieve that purpose (which I guess in turn generates positive emotion). I am incredibly unhappy when I feel like an unproductive member of my family, my study group, or my class, and I feel happy (with myself as a person and with the life that I’m building) when I’m able to engage with my environment in a useful way as I work towards an end that I value. This is true no matter how little time I have left for myself, after my work and familial obligations are met, so long as those obligations are ones that I value and I have, in fact, met them. (Happiness, of course, also entails social happiness, which for me is in part also predicated upon purpose, but I’m not going to go further with that here.)

That said, purpose and meaning can be defined broadly and narrowly. I can feel that my life has meaning because I’m taking care of my family’s financial needs (one day, far from now), or I can feel that life is meaningful because the specific work in which I’m engaging is helping to achieve a specific aim that I value. For me, purpose encompasses both the broad and the narrow, and it is, in part, the combination of these goals that makes the career choice ahead so challenging.

So I value happiness, in part because an important part of happiness, for me, is living a meaningful life. I’m wondering how everyone else feels about happiness – how do you define it, and is “having it” it something that matters to you?

-- MelissaMitgang - 24 Feb 2009

You seem to be positing that leading a meaningful life will itself lead you to happiness, and therefore I think that when you ask what happiness means to everyone else, you’re also asking what everyone thinks is meaningful. Personally, I find it difficult to answer both of those questions.

In my mind, it boils down to short-term and long-term tradeoffs for happiness and meaningful experiences. I think in the long-term, having meaning in my life will give me great satisfaction and make me happy. Short-term, however, I don’t think that the two will be as closely linked. For example, this summer I am very much looking forward to working on domestic violence litigation. I expect that when I reflect upon it at the end of the summer, it will have been a deeply meaningful experience which will affect the way I see the world. However, I think there’s a good chance that my experiences on some days will be very depressing. While I won’t be happy those days, I think I will be happy to have had the experience at the end of the summer.

I recognize that I haven’t answered the questions of what happiness and meaning are to me, but I’m not sure that I have clear answers. I know things that I like and dislike, and could say that I’ll be happy when I’m maximizing the likes and minimizing the dislikes. But some balance of both is probably appropriate to enjoy life. Maybe that’s where meaning come in – happiness might be surrounding myself with the things I like, and doing the things I don’t like when they contribute to something I will appreciate at some future point.

-- CarolineElkin - 24 Feb 2009

On a personal level, I have always had difficulty defining happiness for myself, or achieving that state of mind for sustained periods. As Eben noted, science has shown us that this is often a chemical/genetic problem rather than a lifestyle problem, and I believe this is the case for me.

I think that pursuing a meaningful life in relation to one's values is separate from "happiness". I see happiness more as a component of my social life (family, friends, relationships). Attempting to work towards things that matter to me has not, in my experience, made me happier. As Caroline notes, it can often be a frustrating experience. But "meaningful work" does do something for me. Maybe its a sense of satisfaction, or usefulness, or the thrill of being part of a theatrical production that ostensibly pits my values against those I disagree with.

On a related note, I'm not sure that I agree with Eben's claim that Americans have views of happiness and life that are inconsistent with those held by other cultures. Of course, each culture will have its own somewhat unique conceptions of what makes for a fulfilling life, but there does seem to be a great deal of overlap. Eben seems to have been saying that we have a unique, "pursuit of happiness" belief in the way life "should be". Maybe the desire to buy a home, move to the suburbs, and have three cars is part of a gigantic con that America has been playing on the rest of the world over the past half a century. In fact, this is probably part of the story. But there are also innate, biological/psychological needs which connect people across cultures. With the exception of monks, I've never met anyone who isn't striving to achieve a certain level of material welfare. Why work as hard as people do across the world, if not for a belief that prosperity has a significant bearing on happiness?

-- WalkerNewell - 24 Feb 2009