Evaluating Happiness: Rejecting Cognitive Dissonance in Law School

The Rationalization

Since beginning law school, I’ve constantly been asked, “How is it? Do you like law school?” And every time, I have answered affirmatively – that I like it and I’m happy. I’m enjoying the readings and the new historical perspectives I’ve gained, my peers are intelligent and I like a good number of them, and I’ve been challenging myself to become a better speaker and writer. I’ve been asked so many times, that it’s practically rehearsed by now.

Nevermind the overwhelming amount of sometimes tedious work or the lack of practical training. Nevermind how the curve is undoubtedly a terrible method for encouraging learning through collaboration. Nevermind how my time with my family and friends shrink.

I like the internal consistency of sacrificing a lot and reaping just as much, as people often do.

The Rejection

But then came one day, “I hope that’s the case, but I’m not sure I believe you.”

I’m not often accused of lying, although, when that sentence was uttered to me, I also don’t think it was meant as an accusation of a lie. It did force me to consider the set up that law school puts us in. We pay a lot of money and spend a lot of time in law school, so we must be happy doing all of the readings, attending the firm lunch receptions, and meeting overworked attorneys who invite us to join them.

It made me consider that I need to seriously evaluate if I’m happy in law school by simply following the steps that Columbia has so nicely laid out for us, or if there are other steps that I could be taking instead.

What is Happiness?

The thing is, we’ve been taught from an early age that happiness derives from success in the forms of social attainment, academic success, or even wealth accumulation. Therefore, in law school, the easiest way we think will help us achieve happiness is the same: meeting and becoming friends with our classmates, achieving the highest grades, going to a top-ranked firm.

But, social psychology has debunked some of the happiness myths and revealed other methods to achieve happiness. We may think making a vast amount of money at a private New York firm will help us achieve happiness – but any amount of money over about $60-70k no longer adds to our happiness levels. Instead, social psychology has suggested that giving to others is something that makes us happier. Law school, though, has made me into someone who is incredibly selfish about my time. No, I can’t come to a birthday dinner – because I need to study. No, I can’t help you move out – because I have reading to do. No, I can’t help you file your divorce papers by next week – because my exams are next week. These are absolutely unacceptable excuses, and in fact, destined to make us more unhappy.

Instead, if we truly wanted to achieve happiness, we wouldn’t be focusing on just our selves, our grades, or our achievements. Happiness, then, can be achieved through “sacrifice”.

What to "Sacrifice"?

Sacrifice always has this dreadful connotation. In its very definition, it is “to give up (something important or valued) for the sake of other considerations” (Apple Dictionary). The suggestion is that once we give it up, we may not be able to get it back.

Undoubtedly, we have a limited amount of time – that always means giving something up, but I think sacrifice in law school should be a positive thing: we are figuring out what we want and what we don’t want. Simply put, if I’m not willing to sacrifice it, I probably really want it.

Figuring out what the “it” is will be what makes the next two years worthwhile. Right now, my path is full of uncertainties. What would I consider to be a fulfilling legal career? What path do I want to go down? Is it the path of someone who becomes general counsel of a company that will contribute worthwhile technology to our future? A prosecutor, or a public defender? Someone who leads a non-profit? A policy-maker? Someone who opens a law practice?

I hope law school will help narrow down the paths I want to take by allowing me to find mentors who can give me insight on how they and the people around them practice law, and places that I can intern at to see how law works in the real world. No matter what, I expect that if I am able to learn practical skills while I’m here – to work with counsel and learn how to counsel, then I may feel like my time here was worthwhile. This might mean “sacrificing” black letter law classes, leadership positions, or time spent memorizing out-of-date cases, but in order to get what I really want from law school, I’m willing to do so.

For me, I’m hoping law school will help me expand the bounds of my creativity and reinforce my character so I don’t become selfish, blinded by prestige, and no longer introspective of the kind of person I want to become.

Being at a world-class legal institution affords me confident optimism about my future, but only if I focus on pursuing things that I actively want to pursue. Undoubtedly, I don’t want to start reflecting on myself 20 years from now, only to realize that I never took the moment and asked myself what I truly enjoyed. As long as I continue to check myself and really ask if the activities I’m doing and the classes I’m taking are giving me something useful for my future, I am confident I won’t fall prey to an internal need for consistency, or anyone else's definition of happiness.