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Introduction

The “Traditional” Family Model

Movement Away from the "Traditional" Family Model

An Extreme Example of a Non-Internet Society

Relationships in an Internet Society

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-- By BrettJohnson - 24 Dec 2009

Introduction

By giving people readily available choices the internet has the effect of shortening peoples’ attention span. This shortened attention span affects not only entertainment choices but also personal relationships. The condition of the internet, in conjunction with changes in societal norms and the ability of both genders to equally sustain themselves in a technological society will cause a decrease in the number of long term intimate relationships.

The “Traditional” Family Model

A few generations ago the traditional family included a man (Husband), who worked outside of the home and contributed all financial support for the woman (Wife), and their two or three children. Wife’s contribution was to take care of the home and the children. Because she had little income potential, Wife was entirely dependent upon Husband for support of basic needs including food and shelter. Probably at least in part because of this dependence on Husband, marriage occurred at a young age and divorce was uncommon.

Movement Away from the "Traditional" Family Model

For a variety of reasons that dependence began to change. One contributing factor was the evolution from an industrial society, where most professions involved physical labor for which men generally had an advantage because of their relative greater size and strength, to a technological society where many more professions do not require physical labor and which provide equal opportunity for both genders. Therefore, along with a change in social expectations, many more woman obtained educations and entered the labor force. For example, in 1963, just 3.7% of law school students were women. By the year 2000, more women applied to law school than did men and presently there are nearly as many women associates in law firms as men. Statistics illustrate that divorce rates have increased as women have had more opportunities to provide for themselves. This independence is one factor in a movement away from a traditional family with the internet being a second factor.

An Extreme Example of a Non-Internet Society

The effect of the internet on personal relationships may be demonstrated by first looking at what occurred in a very non-internet society. I grew up in a tiny town in Wyoming and graduated from high school with eighteen classmates. The closest stoplight was 30 miles away; we had one convenience store/gas station, a church and a post office. The sign entering “town” said “Population 100” but when I returned to visit a few years later it said “Population 200,” which leads me to believe, based on the round numbers, that the survey methods may not have been precise. There was no satellite television and cable was not available. We had a single television station (NBC), and our 19” tube television, adorned with tin-foil antenna, allowed us a fuzzy (black and white in my early years) picture. Competing with the television was one FM radio station and two AM stations, one of which was talk radio and the other was a country format so they were not of great value to a child/teenager. Under those circumstances, we were willing to tolerate poor quality television because it was the only game in town. We would sit loyally through atrocious local commercials, blackouts, and poor quality programming. Nobody would have endured that had today’s entertainment options been available.

Similar to a lack of entertainment choices, my home town provided a very limited supply of potential dating/marriage partners. Persons who were no closer related than second cousin—on rare occasions first cousin once removed were fair game as a potential mate. Because of a lack of other options, there were many pairings of people who probably did not have a lot in common and would most likely have not even associated with each other had there been other options. Just as we watched poor quality television programming, however, people made due with what was available in the dating/marriage department. It is apparent that one reason people seek out and stay in relationships is because they do not have better options.

Relationships in an Internet Society

With the internet, we have become a society of instant gratification as a natural consequence of the number of options that we have at our disposal, resulting in a lack of patience for something/somebody that/who is not currently meeting our needs. There are websites specifically devoted to meeting and dating, Match.com, EHarmony, and Plenty of Fish as well as the social networking sites like Myspace and Facebook. If one is too successful with his or her internet dating experiences there are even specialty sites devoted to meeting others similarly situated. Through these sites it is easy to initiate contact without fear of rejection or the risk of the walk of shame after being rebuffed in front of one’s friends (which is less of a problem after a few cocktails but poses a substantial deterrence to a sober person). The internet has made alcohol unnecessary.

After the initial connection—via the internet—or otherwise, there are cell phones, text messages, emails, and IMs.

This ability to connect with people, in conjunction with changes in professional opportunities for women is likely to cause fewer and fewer “traditional” families in future generations. Many past long term relationships, such as the proverbial sixty-year marriage of great-grandma and great-grandpa were probably driven as much by a lack of other options as eternal loving bliss. In an internet society, with our shortened attention span, people will be less likely to work at relationships (or stay in bad relationships) because it is so easy to replace their partner. This is not to suggest that there will never again be sixty-year long relationships. Undoubtedly, there are connections where both people desire to be together in a monotonous [sic monogamous] relationship with the same person for their entire lives. However, for better or worse, the condition of the internet society, making relationships much easier to develop and replace is likely to cause a further reduction in “traditional” and even long term relationships.

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