The Burdens and Benefits of a Broken Home (Edited and ready for final review)

Introduction

Growing up in Brooklyn, New York without my father at home, I understood what most of my friends lived through. Living in a broken home was a struggle that impacts me to this day. Although the burden of living with one parent after a divorce may be apparent, there can be hidden benefits. The benefits may not outweigh the burden, but analyzing both allows for a fuller picture of my personal growth and that of many others.

The Term Broken Home

A broken home seems to hold a negative connotation. The term “to break” implies that something is not the way it should be. A household where the parents fight all the time is considered to be dysfunctional. However, maybe it should be considered broken because children are being raised in a argumentative environment and things are not the way they ought to be. The ‘nuclear family’ is thought to consist of two parents. Therefore a household divided by divorce is referred to as broken. Why does a child raised solely by his/her mother, after divorce, have to be from a broken home? Who says that a child raised solely by his/her mother, after divorce, has any worse of an upbringing than a child raised by both parents? Why the need for the term broken in the first place? These questions will be dealt with, but first the burdens children face being raised by a single-parent must be addressed.

The Burdens of a Broken Home

My parents separated when I was six years old. As a young boy, with a four year old brother and one year old sister, I did not know what was taking place. My mother, siblings, and I moved out of the house we shared with my father and moved to a new house in a different Brooklyn neighborhood. Living as a single-parent with three children, my mother needed to work overtime to make ends meet. Therefore, I was placed in the position of helping to care for my younger siblings. I was given keys to our house and the responsibility of watching my younger siblings after day care and school let out. Safe to say, it is not normal practice in American society for a pre-pubescent child to babysit children even younger than he. I simply lost out on my childhood.

I believe that most of all I lost out on the opportunity to have my father around every day. Throughout my growth as an adolescent, I did not have my father to learn from. I think that young boys learn how to be mature, young men from simply living in the same house as their father. This is assuming that their father is a good male role model and parent. Although my parents separated, divorced, and my father remarried, he has always been a good role model and parent. However, the assertion that my father has been a good role model and parent does show the burden I still bear in wishing that I lived with both of my parents. Life would have been very different if he lived in the same house for more than the first six years of my childhood. I never had the opportunity to watch my parents interact on a daily basis, which would have given me a first-hand view of relationships and marriage. Instead, I lived through constant fighting and feeling like I was stuck in the middle of my parents’ divorce. Children forced to live without one parent are burdened with the task of trying to figure out what is taking place without the mental capacity to actually understand.

The Benefits of a Broken Home

The burdens of living in a broken home may seem bleak, but there are more benefits than I ever previously considered. I learned about the strength of a woman because of my parents’ divorce. My mother showed the ability to work, work overtime, and still make sure that her children were well cared for. She established that you can overcome any obstacle in life and be successful. She dedicated much of her life to giving us the things she never had. I cannot remember a summer break where we did not take a great vacation. Our vacations allowed us to learn about new cultures while solidifying our familial bonds.

One of the best feelings in life is overcoming expected failure. No one expected my mother to be able to make it on her own, but she proved people wrong. She successfully raised three children by herself, making sure that we all received good educations. Her hard work led to me and my siblings all going to college. The values instilled in me by my mother helped me persevere through the challenges of life.

Although I wish my father was in our home, I cannot say that I am not stronger because of my upbringing. My parents’ divorce helped to build character. I may have matured faster than I wanted to, but I also gained an appreciation for the importance of a good education, hard work, and close family ties. I learned early on how to care for others and be a selfless individual. My siblings look up to me because I was always there for them. As a teenager, I was directly exposed to the legal system because of my parents’ custody battle. My siblings and I were assigned a child advocate who represented our interests only. This event helped pique my interest in law as a career.

Conclusion

Children, like me, struggle adjusting to their parents’ divorce. However, the negative impact is often apparent. Ideally, I wish that my parents never divorced, but I cannot say that my life has been harmed by it. My situation shows that there can be a positive impact that you may not consider when first placed in the situation of being raised in a single-parent home.