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Evaluating Happiness: Rejecting Cognitive Dissonance in Law School | |
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< | The Set-Up
Most of us want to say that we’re happy in law school and that we made the right decision in coming. That’s because before we started, we all had our reasons. We want to become a lawyer, perhaps, or make money, help people, change the world, figure out what to do with the rest of our lives, or even keep learning about how society functions. Whatever the reason, and whether or not it was a good reason, we committed (unless we drop out) close to $270,000 and 3 years of our lives.
So then we find ourselves here. But, there can be an overwhelming amount of work. There is nearly no practical learning at all. The curve is undoubtedly a terrible method for encouraging learning through collaboration. There are court opinions that are tedious. Classmates’ opinions sometimes lack substance or significance. Time spent with friends and family shrinks.
But we’re still happy. We have to be, or it wouldn’t be worth it. | | | The Rationalization | |
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< | Over the past few months, I’ve constantly been asked, “Do you like law school?” And every time, I have answered affirmatively – that I like it and I’m happy. I’m enjoying the readings and the new historical perspectives I’ve gained, my peers are intelligent and I like a good number of them, and I’ve been challenging myself to become a better speaker and writer. I’ve been asked so many times, that it’s practically rehearsed by now. I like the internal consistency, as people often do. | >
> | Since beginning law school, I’ve constantly been asked, “How is it? Do you like law school?” And every time, I have answered affirmatively – that I like it and I’m happy. I’m enjoying the readings and the new historical perspectives I’ve gained, my peers are intelligent and I like a good number of them, and I’ve been challenging myself to become a better speaker and writer. I’ve been asked so many times, that it’s practically rehearsed by now.
Nevermind the overwhelming amount of sometimes tedious work or the lack of practical training. Nevermind how the curve is undoubtedly a terrible method for encouraging learning through collaboration. Nevermind how my time with my family and friends shrink. | | | | |
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> | I like the internal consistency of sacrificing a lot and reaping just as much, as people often do. | | |
The Rejection
But then came one day, “I hope that’s the case, but I’m not sure I believe you.” | |
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< | I’m not often accused of lying, although, when that sentence was uttered to me, I also don’t think it was meant as an accusation of a lie. It did force me to consider the set up that law school puts us in. We pay a lot of money and spend a lot of time in law school, so we must be happy doing all of the readings, attending the firm lunch receptions, and meeting overworked attorneys who come to invite us to join them. | >
> | I’m not often accused of lying, although, when that sentence was uttered to me, I also don’t think it was meant as an accusation of a lie. It did force me to consider the set up that law school puts us in. We pay a lot of money and spend a lot of time in law school, so we must be happy doing all of the readings, attending the firm lunch receptions, and meeting overworked attorneys who invite us to join them. | | | It made me consider that I need to seriously evaluate if I’m happy in law school by simply following the steps that Columbia has so nicely laid out for us, or if there are other steps that I could be taking instead. | |
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< | The Happiness? | | | | |
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< | Still, even now, I’m not sure where happiness, for me, really lies. But, recognizing that the dream that society has pushed us to pursue leads us to sometimes conflicting goals is a start. | >
> | What is Happiness? | | | | |
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< | In terms of pursuing happiness in law school, there are two different types of happiness that are at stake. First, there’s the kind of instantaneous, literal happiness that we can feel. The other happiness is a more long-term happiness of accomplishing things that we believe will contribute to our future happiness. The uncertainty in evaluating our future happiness results in a conflict between immediate gratification and possible future fulfillment. The result is that we might not pursue what we enjoy now because it conflicts with what we believe we will enjoy in the future. | >
> | The thing is, we’ve been taught from an early age that happiness derives from success in the forms of social attainment, academic success, or even wealth accumulation. Therefore, in law school, the easiest way we think will help us achieve happiness is the same: meeting and becoming friends with our classmates, achieving the highest grades, going to a top-ranked firm. | | | | |
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< | I don’t have a be all and end all solution for that conflict. But, there are steps that we can take to ensuring our happiness. For example, social psychology has suggested that there is at least one thing that has been proven to make us happier: giving to others. In relation to while we’re at law school, even though we might have no money to give to others, we can certainly give our time to those who need it. | >
> | But, social psychology has debunked some of the happiness myths and revealed other methods to achieve happiness. We may think making a vast amount of money at a private New York firm will help us achieve happiness – but any amount of money over about $60-70k no longer adds to our happiness levels. Instead, social psychology has suggested that giving to others is something that makes us happier. Law school, though, has made me into someone who is incredibly selfish about my time. No, I can’t come to a birthday dinner – because I need to study. No, I can’t help you move out – because I have reading to do. No, I can’t help you file your divorce papers by next week – because my exams are next week. These are absolutely unacceptable excuses, and in fact, destined to make us more unhappy. | | | | |
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< | Another step we can take is to evaluate what has made us feel the best in the past. Looking back to the list of things that has made me enjoy law school, I’ve noticed that for the most part, the list was all about myself. But if the question were changed to, “What have you done in the past few months that have made you feel the most accomplished?”, then I would have a significantly different answer about when I was actually able to help someone else instead of myself. That answer might be different for other people, but I think that the answer is worth exploring before any of us commit ourselves to the firms and institutions that we’re directed towards. | >
> | Instead, if we truly wanted to achieve happiness, we wouldn’t be focusing on just our selves, our grades, or our achievements. Happiness, then, can be achieved through “sacrifice”. | | | | |
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< | Being at a world-class legal institution means that we should have confident optimism about our futures, but only if we are truly pursuing things that we actively reflect on as making us happy. Undoubtedly, we don’t want to start reflecting on ourselves 20 years from now, only to realize that we never took the moment and asked ourselves what we truly enjoyed. | >
> | What to "Sacrifice"? | | | | |
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< | So, am I happy? I’m still not sure, but I’m certainly not going to fall prey to an internal need for consistency, or anyone else's definition of happiness. | >
> | Sacrifice always has this dreadful connotation. In its very definition, it is “to give up (something important or valued) for the sake of other considerations” (Apple Dictionary). The suggestion is that once we give it up, we may not be able to get it back. | | | | |
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< | It's a good first
draft, because as you all but say yourself, it's clearing the table
for serving another question. | >
> | Undoubtedly, we have a limited amount of time – that always means giving something up, but I think sacrifice in law school should be a positive thing: we are figuring out what we want and what we don’t want. Simply put, if I’m not willing to sacrifice it, I probably really want it. | | | | |
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< | What the present draft says, I think, is that actually reviewing
critically your relationship with law school (in order to decide,
for example, whether to continue after the first year) requires
breaking a repression, allowing the doubts and ambivalences to
surface, if only for the purpose of demanding from law school that
it do for you what you need. | >
> | Figuring out what the “it” is will be what makes the next two years worthwhile. Right now, my path is full of uncertainties. What would I consider to be a fulfilling legal career? What path do I want to go down? Is it the path of someone who becomes general counsel of a company that will contribute worthwhile technology to our future? A prosecutor, or a public defender? Someone who leads a non-profit? A policy-maker? Someone who opens a law practice? | | | | |
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< | So, the next draft is really about undertaking that process, at
least so far as to articulate what you, personally, based on your
experience so far, need from law school. | >
> | I hope law school will help narrow down the paths I want to take by allowing me to find mentors who can give me insight on how they and the people around them practice law, and places that I can intern at to see how law works in the real world. No matter what, I expect that if I am able to learn practical skills while I’m here – to work with counsel and learn how to counsel, then I may feel like my time here was worthwhile. This might mean “sacrificing” black letter law classes, leadership positions, or time spent memorizing out-of-date cases, but in order to get what I really want from law school, I’m willing to do so. | | | | |
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> | For me, I’m hoping law school will help me expand the bounds of my creativity and reinforce my character so I don’t become selfish, blinded by prestige, and no longer introspective of the kind of person I want to become. | | | | |
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> | Being at a world-class legal institution affords me confident optimism about my future, but only if I focus on pursuing things that I actively want to pursue. Undoubtedly, I don’t want to start reflecting on myself 20 years from now, only to realize that I never took the moment and asked myself what I truly enjoyed. As long as I continue to check myself and really ask if the activities I’m doing and the classes I’m taking are giving me something useful for my future, I am confident I won’t fall prey to an internal need for consistency, or anyone else's definition of happiness. | | |
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