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A Self Reflection: What's the Shame in Slowing Down?

-- By CodyHuyan - 20 Feb 2024

Introduction

What I miss most about Seattle is chatting with strangers while I wait for my coffee. I’d learn about what they had planned for the day, share their happiness about a grandchild visiting, or rant about how the Seahawks are playing. I lived in a senior neighborhood, so people seemed to cherish the pause in time coffee lines provided.

I moved to Vermont for college and took my first trip to New York in the spring of my freshman year. I sipped my latte in front of a floor-to-ceiling window and watched people walk pass. The world seemed to play on double speed without a pause button. People seemed always to be in a hurry: even those who took a minute to come into the coffee shop would rush out of the door after they grab their mobile order. No one seemed capable of slowing down.

I thought of myself as one who enjoys down time. Like I mentioned, I enjoyed pausing my day to chat with strangers. I enjoyed sitting on the beach and staring into blankness. But the more time I spent in college, I more I struggled with empty time blocks in my schedule. I overloaded on classes because I felt like I should be doing something at all times and there is always more to be done so free time isn’t justified. What changed? What’s the shame in slowing down?

As an economics major, I was surrounded by classmates who were gunning for investment banking. The most prestigious banks attempt to be the first one to secure the best talent and out-compete each other. Inevitably, the process gets pushed earlier each year and many students begin networking as soon as they start college. With the exception of some extremely determined students, most of us, including myself, had no idea what we wanted to do in our freshman year. I was not even remotely interested in banking, but I jumped on the bandwagon anyway – what if I become interested in banking in the future and my decision to not start early enough would close the door? When I had the option of taking a finance internship or working on a campaign, I took both because I feared leaving one out would somehow close distant opportunities in the future.

I want to use this opportunity to explore the root causes of my fear of missing out and incapability to slow down, which may be explained by a simple game theory model.

Prisoner's Dilemma

The hustle culture is essentially a product of the prisoner’s dilemma. Take the law school recruiting scene for example. If all students participate in OCI only, everyone will have equal opportunities to bid and interview. Although not everyone will have equal chances of getting an offer because of credentials, at least every student would be in the same race competing for the same number of available positions. But if one student applies directly, they may be able to enhance their probability of getting the job by preceding their competition. Other students who abide by OCI, however, would be left in a disadvantaged position where they may be competing for less headcount as many would be taken by early applicants. While the most stress-free, “socially” efficient approach would be for all to abide by OCI, it is not the most favorable outcome individually. To maximize individual chances, a given student would likely choose to apply early. But when everyone chooses to apply early, the recruiting process is simply pushed forward. Students still face the same competition while having less time to prepare. The game is identical from firms’ perspectives. All firms face substantially the same pool of candidates during OCI, but they are incentivized to recruit early to snatch the best talent before other firms. Consequently, when all firms choose the best individual strategy, the recruiting timeline inevitably advances. The inescapable consequence would be students spending extra time to network and prepare application material and firms spending additional resources on early-stage outreach, while the outcome would be similar to if everyone had attended OCI.

The dilemma extends well beyond legal recruiting. People are egotistically motivated. If there is something one can do to edge themselves ahead of other competition, most people would choose to do it. People would then gradually catch on and bring the playing field back to where it started until another round of edging and catching begins. The only thing that has changed is that people have exhausted more time and effort. I am too trapped in this vicious cycle, but how can I escape?

Learn to Slow Down

Breaking free from the hustle culture should not be an individual effort. Though individuals ultimately choose their actions autonomously, institutions still play a critical role. Institutions make the rules, whether it’s OCI, direct application, or early recruiting programs in other industries. In order for individuals to learn to truly slow down, instructions must abide by and enforce the rules they create. When doing something extra will no longer yield a better outcome, people may begin to learn to slow down.

In reality, breaking free from the hustle culture is very much so individual battles. Economic benefits are too strong for institutions to prioritize overall welfare over their individual prosperity. And they make the rules, so they also get to decide if and how to enforce them.

One way I have begun to experiment is to internalize that life is a marathon, not a sprint. I have conceptualized life as sprint segments. Viewing short-term goals as the finish line, I kept telling myself that I need to do everything I can to be fastest in each 100-meter dash. What I neglected is that the person next to me may have already paced for the full life-marathon – they may be behind me at a certain stage, but they will eventually pass me. I will exhaust myself quickly if I do not start to pace for the full marathon.

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