NO YOU CAN’T

-- By FranciscoGuzman - 19 Feb 2010

The process to give up

All children want to be heroes

If you ask a child what does he want to be in the future, he will probably say something incredible, an astronaut, gold medal in the Olympics, president, superman, etc. Children are not afraid to be heroes, maybe because they do not know the risks involved. Unfortunately, in the way to adulthood, people surrounding this child will make sure to let him know such risks and in one way or another the response to his dreams will be NO YOU CAN’T.

Why people do that? According to Arnold, if you want to do something against the established creeds, the prejudices of others will compel them to oppose you and let you know the risks and demons involved in the way. But apparently, even if someone’s goals are within the boundaries of the traditional rules, such as being a successful professional in any area, you will still receive many NO YOU CANT’S. Many of them will be related to do what you are not supposed to according to your predetermined reality, measured by social class, intelligence, physical condition or other factors.

Overcoming these obstacles is difficult. Once you stop being a child and become aware of such difficulties, because others will constantly underscore them, you will probably become afraid to follow your initial plan. Then there is the crucial choice in everyone’s life: which path do I follow? and how much effort should I put into it?

The desire never dies

If someone does not become what he ever wanted, because he made a conscious choice to play safe or because the obstacles were too big to surpass them, the initial aspirations will still be there. If the process is as described, the chances of being frustrated are high.

Sports brands are aware of this situation. “Just Do It” from Nike or “Impossible Is Nothing” from Adidas are examples of an effort to sell an idea that fulfills people’s needs. President Obama also knew this and used the famous “Yes We Can” in his campaign.

Everyone wants to feel that the message is true: yes, I can follow my dreams; be unique; take risks.

The real message

This apparent contradiction, of people wanting to believe that they can do anything and at the same time receiving the message from others that such aspirations are unreal, could be unified in the phrase: “YES YOU CAN, do what everybody else does or what does not imply too much costs according to your reality”.

Can you really do it?

There are people who do it

Some particular individuals are not afraid to take the challenge and follow their ideals. For instance, there is Martin Luther King in his fight against racial discrimination or Mather Teresa in her crusade helping the poor in India. Other examples in less transcendental areas are Vincent Van Gogh, who was not considered a good artist during his life, or Oscar Pistorius, who has no legs and runs faster than many professional athletes. There are also many individuals from poor families who studied in the best universities anyway making gigantic efforts to win scholarships or working during their whole free time to pay for their education.

Why does not everybody else does it?

A common topic for the proposals of Holmes, Frank and Arnold, is fear and the need to feel safe, which kills the other basic need that we had during childhood, the desire to be heroes. People are afraid to be different and unaccepted, to work in a useless task, to not be good enough to achieve what they want and at the end, afraid of failing.

What does this mean as a lawyer?

A lawyer may want to change the law, to do justice, to use his profession to help others or simply to be successful no matter what does it mean to him. Whatever dreams he had when started law school, they are at risk of being drowned by the NO YOU CANT’S that he will constantly receive. During law school, there are the economic costs of studying, a possible rejection from a university, people telling you that you do not have what it takes (through bad grades for example), to give some examples.

During his professional life many times he will be in Robinson’s situation, having the opportunity to take a case that no one wants because YOU CAN’T win it. He also may want to practice in some area which is not developed enough at the risk of facing a bad economic future. He may want to work in a big law firm but cannot get a job, etc.

What can a lawyer do then?

The easiest thing to do is to follow the current wherever it takes you. You can complaint the whole time about how things did not work out and why it is the system’s fault. The result of this choice will be to live a life without any memorable professional achievement at all together with the frustration mentioned above.

Although there is no magic receipt to overcome adversity, there are two basic things that are fundamental to not give up: i) a clear purpose; and ii) the courage to do what it takes to achieve it.

Captain Brown knew the importance of having a purpose. His success when fought superior numbers in battle was because his men had a cause. Is this purpose which will allow the person to maintain his course when face adversity. The fear will always be there, but if you really believe in what you are fighting for, such fear will be little compared with your desire to succeed every time someone tells you NO YOU CAN’T.

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