NO YOU CAN'T

-- By FranciscoGuzman - 19 Feb 2010

The process to give up

All children want to be heroes

If you ask a child what does he want to be in the future, he will probably say something incredible, an astronaut, gold medalist in the Olympics, president, superman, etc.

Children are not afraid to be heroes, maybe because they do not know the difficulties and risks involved. Unfortunately, in their transition to adulthood, people surrounding them will make sure to show them such difficulties and risks and in one way or another the response to their dreams will be NO YOU CAN’T.

Why people do that? According to Arnold, if you want to do something against the established creeds, the prejudices of others will compel them to oppose you and let you know the dangers involved in the way to attain your purposes. But apparently, even if someone’s goals are within the boundaries of the traditional rules, such as being a successful professional in any area, you will still receive many NO YOU CAN’T. Although the origin of these negatives will vary, many of them will be directed to stop you from doing what you are not supposed to, according to your predetermined reality measured by social class, intelligence, physical condition or other factors.

Overcoming these obstacles is hard. Once you grow up and become conscious of the “reality” pointed out by many people surrounding you, there is a high possibility to get afraid of following your original plans. Then, you face the crucial choice in your life: which path do I follow? how much effort should I put into it?

The desire never dies

If someone does not become what he ever wanted, because he made a conscious choice to play safe or because the obstacles were too big to surpass them, the initial aspirations will still be there and the chances of being frustrated are high.

Sports brands are aware of this situation. “Just Do It” from Nike or “Impossible Is Nothing” from Adidas are examples of an effort to sell an idea that fulfills people’s needs. President Obama also knew this and used the famous “Yes We Can” in his campaign.

Everyone wants to feel that the message is true: yes, I can follow my dreams; be unique; take risks.

The real message

This apparent contradiction, of people wanting to believe that they can do anything they wish, and at the same time receiving the message from others that such aspirations are unreal, could be unified in the phrase:

“YES YOU CAN, do what everybody else does, without taking too many risks and always within your limits.”

Can you really do it?

There are people who do it

Some particular individuals are not afraid to take the challenge and follow their ideals. For instance, there is Martin Luther King in his fight against racial discrimination or Mother Teresa in her crusade helping the poor in India. Other examples in less transcendental areas are Vincent Van Gogh, who was not considered a good artist during his life, or Oscar Pistorius, who has no legs and runs faster than many professional athletes. There are also many individuals from poor families who studied in the best universities anyway making gigantic efforts to win scholarships or working during their whole free time to pay for their education.

Why does not everybody else does it?

A common topic for the proposals of Holmes, Frank and Arnold, is fear and the need to feel safe, which kills the other basic need that we had during childhood, the desire to be heroes. People are fearful of being different and unaccepted, to work in an uncommon or useless task, to not be good enough to achieve what they want, and, at the end, afraid of failing.

What does this mean to a lawyer?

A lawyer may want to change the law, to do justice, to use his profession to help others or simply to be successful according to his particular standards. Whatever dreams he had when starting law school, they are at risk of being toppled by the NO YOU CAN’T that he will constantly receive. The economic costs of studying, a possible rejection from a university, people telling you that you do not have ‘what it takes’ (through bad grades or other means), are some examples of difficulties in the road to become a lawyer.

During his professional life many times he will be in Robinson’s situation, having the opportunity to take a case that nobody wants because YOU CAN’T win it. He may want to practice in an area which is not developed enough at the risk of facing a bad economic future or he may decide to work in a big law firm but cannot get a job. A lawyer has several reasons to relinquish his ideals and the common factor among those reasons will be that the alternative approach will be much more complicated.

What can a lawyer do then?

The easiest thing to do is to follow the current wherever it takes you.

You may complain about how things did not work out and blame the system, as well as tell yourself that you are not responsible for this failure. The result will be to have a life without any memorable professional achievement at all, together with the frustration and disappointment that comes with it.

Although there is no magic recipe to overcome adversity, there are two basic things that are fundamental to not give up: i) a clear purpose; and ii) the courage to do what it takes to achieve it.

Captain Brown knew the importance of having a purpose. His success when fought to superior numbers in battle was because his men had a cause, an ideal. This purpose will allow the person to maintain his course when facing adversity. The fear will always be there, but if you really believe in what you are fighting for, such fear will be small compared with your desire to succeed every time someone tells you NO YOU CAN’T.

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