NO YOU CAN'T

-- By FranciscoGuzman - 19 Feb 2010

The Process To Give Up

Every Child Wants to Be a Hero

If you ask a child what does he want to be when he grows up, he will probably say something incredible, an astronaut, a gold medalist in the Olympics, president, even superman.

Children are not afraid to be heroes, maybe because they do not know the difficulties and risks involved. Unfortunately, in the transition to adulthood, those around them will make sure they discover those difficulties and risks and be it tacitly or explicitly the reaction to the manifestation of their aspirations will be: NO YOU CAN’T.

Why people do this to them? According to Arnold, when you go against the established creeds, prejudice will compel others to oppose you and inform you of the dangers involved on the way to attaining your purposes. More surprisingly, even if your goals are within the boundaries of accepted rules, such as being a successful professional, you will still hear many NO YOU CAN’Ts. Although the origin of these negative responses will vary, many of them are directed at stopping you from doing what you are not supposed to according to your predetermined reality as measured by social class, intelligence or physical condition, among other factors.

Overcoming these obstacles is hard. Once you grow up and become aware of the “reality” those around you spend so much time pointing out, there is a high chance you will be have become afraid of following your original plans. You then face a crucial choice in your life: which path do I follow? How much effort should I put into it?

Desire Never Dies

If an individual does not become what he wanted to be, as he made a conscious choice to play safe or because the obstacles were too great to defeat, the initial aspirations will still be there and thus the chances of becoming frustrated will be high.

Sports brands are aware of this. Nike’s “Just Do It” slogan or Adidas’ “Impossible Is Nothing” address specifically this issue. President Obama also understood this when he decided to use his famous “Yes We Can” during his campaign.

Everyone wants to believe in the message: yes, I can follow my dreams; be unique; take risks.

The Real Message

Apparently, there is no contradiction between people’s inner desire to believe that they can do anything and the message provided by commercial slogans or political speeches. Unfortunately, what reality is telling us everyday is:

“YES YOU CAN, do only what everybody else does and always within the limits imposed on you.”

Can You Really Do It?

There Are People Who Do It

There are those few individuals who are not afraid to take on the challenge of pursuing their ideals. Martin Luther King, Jr. is a good example in his fight against racial discrimination or Mother Teresa in her crusade to help the poor in India. Examples in less transcendental areas include Vincent Van Gogh, who was not considered a good artist during his life, or Oscar Pistorius, who has no legs and runs faster than many professional athletes. There are also many individuals from poor families who studied in the best universities making great sacrifices to pay for their education.

Why Does not Everybody Else Do It?

A common topic in the proposals of Holmes, Frank and Arnold, is fear and the need to feel safe, which kills the other basic need that we have in childhood, the desire to be heroes. People are fearful of being different and therefore rejected, of working in an uncommon or useless task, of not being good enough to achieve what they want, in sum, they are afraid of failing.

What Does This Mean to a Lawyer?

A lawyer may want to change the law, to do justice, to use his profession to help others or simply to be successful. Whatever dreams he had when he entered law school are at risk of being brought down by the NO YOU CAN’Ts being constantly flung at him. The economic costs of studying, a possible rejection from a university, people telling you that you do not have “what it takes” (through bad grades or other means), are some examples of difficulties in the road to becoming a lawyer.

During his professional life, a lawyer will often be in Robinson’s situation; that is, taking a case that nobody wants because YOU CAN’T win it. He may want to practice in an area that is not well developed yet at the risk of facing a bad economic future or to found a small practice that seems incapable to compete with the large law firms. A lawyer has several reasons to relinquish his ideals and the common denominator among those is that the alternative approach is much more complicated.

What Must a Lawyer Do Then?

The easiest thing to do is to follow the flow wherever it takes you.

You can complain about how things did not work out and blame the system, while you convince yourself that you are not responsible for the failure. The result will be a life without any memorable professional achievement at all, together with the frustration and disappointment that comes with it.

Although there is no magic recipe for overcoming adversity, there are two basic things that are fundamental to ensure you do not give up your goals: i) a clear purpose; and ii) the courage to do what it takes to achieve it.

Captain Brown knew the importance of having a purpose. His success when he fought against superior numbers in battle was because his men had a cause, an ideal. This is what allows you to maintain your course in the face of adversity. The fear will always be there, but if you really believe in what you are fighting for, such fear will be small compared with your desire to succeed every time someone tells you NO YOU CAN’T.

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